Lonely Hearts

Chapter three: Lincoln

"What the hell did you do that for?" Fred yelled.

"Calm down, Fred. I'm going to talk to him." Charlie said, calmly.

I laughed and he gave me a stern look.

"I don't know what you think you're laughing at." Charlie said. "This is your second strike this week."

I rolled my eyes and fury flashed in his eyes. A rare occurrence. Fred walked away, shooting me a look before he turned the corner. I gave him the finger.

Charlie's hand shot out to pull my hand down.

"Don't." He said. "This is your second strike this week, Lincoln. Not month, week. Do you have any idea how serious this could get?"

I grumbled but a stern look from Charlie made me shut up.

"You need to see your sisters." He muttered. "They might be able to curb your...wilfulness." 

I did. I did need to see them. But everytime I got close to being able to do so, loneliness struck and I was put in isolation or on the risk assessment chart and the visit was cancelled. 

Seeing them was supposed to be a privilege. A reward for good behaviour. My incentive. But each time I was deemed too irresponsible, too immature to see them.

It had eventually dawned on me that this was it. They were never going to allow me to see them. I just wasn't responsible enough. Not controlled enough. It's been two years. Who knows where they were. What they were doing. The loss cut deep. Deeper than when I had lost my mum and more painful. Because this time, they were out there somewhere, just out of reach. Waiting patiently for me to show up and help them. To get them out of this.

"Tell me what's wrong." Charlie asked, no, demanded.

"He's upset because he's not getting laid." I replied, causing Charlie to shoot me a look.

"Lincoln." He warned.

"He tried to take a personal letter." I shrugged. "I hate people touching my things."

He sighed. He knew about my boundary issues. I don't think there was a single adult here who didn't. It was probably written over and over in my file. Bad temper, problems at home, boundary issues, boundary issues, boundary issues. Especially after last time.

"We'll issue a warning, Lincoln. But you need to control that temper, alright?"

I shrugged.

"That's not an answer." He said.

I sighed. "Fine. I won't go around punching morons anymore."

He knocked on the door and Emily opened it.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded, fury radiated off her and I wondered if Fred had radioed my arrival already.

"There was another incident with Darren." Charlie replied. "We're going to speak to him about it. He got Lincoln all riled up."

I scowled at him.

Emily sighed.

"Sit down." She said, gesturing towards the chair.

She thanked Charlie and turned to frown at me. Her gaze pinned me to my chair. I tried a smile.

"This is no laughing matter, Lincoln. I've told you plenty of times to keep your temper under control. Darren taunts you because he knows you're an easy target. You know this." She got my file out and started scribbling. "You are on your last strike. Otherwise I will place you in social isolation until I find a foster home."

I scoffed and her eyes met mine.

"Lincoln, I need you to cooperate." She said. "I want you to be happy but I need you to follow the rules just like everyone else."

She sighed. "I know you don't like listening to others, but this is one of those times when you have to."

"What will you do if I don't?" I asked, scornfully.

"I will find a home for you." She said. "I'm looking for one. You need a home that can curb your...enthusiasm."

I laughed at her word choice and she shook her head. She called Charlie into the room and he escorted me out.

"Come on." He said. "Let's get you back to your room."

I nodded reluctantly.

"Look after yourself." He said, "and for the love of all that is good, stop allowing people to get to you."

"Easy for you to say." I muttered.

He gave me a long look before escorting me back to my room.

"Get some rest." He muttered. "You need to go to school tomorrow."

"Great." I said, sarcastically.

He looked at me again. "I'm taking you this time." He said. "Since I can't trust you to get the bus like everybody else."

I sighed.

"If I or anyone else finds out you're skipping, I'll inform Head and she'll revoke all your privileges for the next month. Understand?"

I simply shrugged.

He gave me an assessing look, watching me closely for something, a reaction, anything.

"Go to bed." He said eventually, not telling me what he saw; if he saw anything at all. "And whatever you do, do not leave your room until morning. I'll post a guard. Hell, I'll watch the door myself if I have to."

I rolled my eyes but, after a minute, did as he said.

"Just start following the rules, Lincoln. If you're good to us, we'll be good to you." He said, before shutting the door and locking it with a light click.

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about his last words. If you're good to us, we'll be good to you. I thought about the last time I had believed that promise. The last time I had let someone's words get under my skin.

How I had promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again. No matter what.

~*~

I didn't go to sleep. I watched the darkness creep across the ceiling and fade again with the morning sunlight, lost in memories I thought I'd pushed down out of reach. Too painful to think of anymore. Reminders of all I had lost.

I thought about my sisters. I needed to stop messing around and find a way to see them. They needed me. I needed them. More than anything. But I wasn't even sure where they were anymore. I had to get out of here. I needed to go and find them.

Good behaviour just didn't come naturally to me. I don't think it ever would. So I needed a plan. It would land me in hot water if I was caught, probably with the police, and definitely with the staff at the Home. But hell, I couldn't just sit here and wait for someone to tell me where and when I could see them. I had to get out of here. I just had to.

But I couldn't do it alone. I wanted to. Probably should do. But I couldn't. I needed someone with me. Someone to stop me from doing something stupid. From hurting myself again.

Someone who would be able to stop me without touch.

And I think I knew just the person. But how to get them on board?

But why her?

I don't even know her and she doesn't know me.

Who's to say she would even understand?

Then again, maybe that's just what I needed. Someone who didn't understand. Someone who set rules that didn't bend because of the situation.

The idea was stupid. Reckless. What was I thinking? It was dangerous. Ridiculous.

Which was why it just might work. It had to work. I would make it work.