SUMMARY: You mess up on a mission, and Bucky comforts you.
***
You're shaking. Hands trembling. Eyes hazed over.
What had you done?
This was never supposed to happen. You had everything under control. Where did she come from?
"Hey, doll," Bucky spoke quietly, trying not to frighten you even more than you already were.
Bucky's words didn't get through to you as you continued to stare at the mangled body in front of you. He carefully laid a soft hand on your shoulder.
"I killed someone," you didn't lift your head to look at him. You couldn't look him in the eye. It wasn't your first kill, but this one was different. "I killed a civilian. An innocent."
How could you ever again call yourself a protector? You were a fraud. You couldn't be trusted to help people when you couldn't even control your powers.
"It was a mistake," he said, trying to soothe you. He knew the overwhelming guilt you were dealing with at the moment all too well. "It wasn't your fault." Gingerly he took hold of your hands.
"How can you say that? I killed her!" you shouted, yanking your hands back, finally looking at him. "This is my fault. I'm a monster."
Your eyes fell upon her body again, and you grew quiet. A few breaths quickly turned into sobs. "It's my fault."
Bucky didn't speak. He knew words wouldn't do you any good. Instead, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, hoping you wouldn't push him away again. He sighed in relief when you pressed yourself closer to him.
He held you until the sobs quieted down, and you began to breathe normally.
"Doll, nothing I say will make this better. I know. Accidents like these happen, and it's heartbreaking. The best thing you can do is to let it go. You mourn her, you let yourself feel the guilt, but you don't let it overtake you. You can't. Not when we do what we do." He stroked your hair as he felt another wave of tears come through. "Believe me, doll, the things you do out here are so important. You've saved so many people."
You tried to control your breathing as Bucky spoke. His touch grounded you, and you were so thankful to have him here.
You knew he was right, but you would never forget the paralysing panic you felt as she appeared out of nowhere. Nor the sheer despair as you realised she was dead because of you. You were a protector, and you had failed.
You weren't sure if you could recover from this, but the tight grip Bucky had on you helped. Even if it was only a little.
