The Last One (young justice/robin)

40. letting go

I hobbled through Central City for nearly forty five minutes before I finally passed Wally's old high school and gained some orientation. 

When I stepped inside the zeta tube, I put the coordinates in for the cave without thinking.

"Location not recognized."

Then the last night in the cave flashed through my memory. The anger and grief I felt then. Will these feelings ever leave me? Or will they always burn this way; sear into my skin like an iron?

I hesitated in that moment. Maybe everyone would be safer if I just stayed away. If something as simple as a zeta tube set me off, who knows what could happen if I ran into Nightwing. I could go berserk again, maybe hurt someone or worse.

Then I glanced at my fingers, bruised and misshapen. I am powerless right now, still struggling to carry my own weight. What could I actually do to help?

My eyes began to water at the thought of how useless I have become. How broken. 

The frustration of that thought is what convinced me to change the coordinates.

"Recognized: Iris B-04."

"Iris?" Artemis and Wally turned to me, already inside the Watchtower. "What are you doing here?"

"I... wanted to help."

"Asami has deployed the egg and disabled the MFD," Dinah spoke over the computer.

"Good work, Theta. 20 squads deployed, 20 MFD's destroyed. The mission was a success. We have done it!"

It seems I was not needed at all. 

"We missed one," the Atom cut into my thought. "The Earth's magnetic field is still being disrupted."

"Blue Beetle to Watchtower. I'm reading a 21st MFD. In the Arctic, hidden from my previous scans by Earth's North Magnetic Pole. Sending coordinates."

"There are no zeta tubes in the Arctic," Atom said. "How are we going to..."

"Don't worry, gang," Barry spoke up. "I've got this."

One by one, more people began to arrive. Aquaman and Green Arrow, and, "Rena?"

My body turned to ice the moment I heard his voice. My hands balled into fists so tight that they began to tremble.

"Uh oh," Wally muttered.

I turned towards him slowly, already seeing the route in which one of Artemis' arrows would be mine before she could stop me, and it would land in the middle of Dick's chest.

But, mustering every ounce of self control, I let go. I breathed. I reminded that I did love him at some point. I cannot understand how or why anymore, but I did love him. So, I turned away.

"Flash to Watchtower. The magnetic field disruptor... It's already gone chrysalis. And I'm not sure if the egg—"

"The egg is useless now. You're too late."

"What now?"

"Now you run."

"Hey, I'm no quitter. There's gotta be—"

"I didn't say 'run away.' I said run. Together you and Impulse should be able to negate the chrysalis by running counter to its energy flow."

"Is it really that simple?"

"I wouldn't call it simple. You'll be attempting to siphon its power with your own speed trails. It'll take a massive amount of kinetic energy."

"Do you think it'll be enough?"