Breaking Hermione

Dereality

A/N: Dedicated to everyone who enjoys reading this little book.

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You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.

Albus Dumbledore
Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix

Hermione

The daylight was gone. I ran toward the Forbidden Forest like a bullet shot from the barrel of a gun, as if Tom Riddle himself was hot on my heels. The night was cold, and I could hear the distant rumble of a storm approaching. Xavier was already deep in the Forest. I didn't have a hope of catching up, he was faster than me, even from my distance away I could hear his voice echoing from deep within the trees yelling at me to hurry.

The thing with Tom was that you couldn't outrun him no matter what you did. He didn't need to chase me to be actively hunting me. He was already there with me, in my head, in my heart. It felt like I was in a dream, running across the wet grassy plains and not getting anywhere at all. The more I ran the more the pain from all of my unhealed injuries stabbed into me, a stinging reminder of my reality. Tom had become seamless to the darkness of the night in mere months, he was the compressing sensation of mental purgatory in the form of a man. All of this pain was interwoven, the hell in my mind was intricate and it was going to take a lot to pull myself through, that was if I could be bothered to even help myself. These days I barely had the motivation to do even that.

The moment I crossed over into the shelter of the forest I slowed the pace, coming to stop beneath the shelter of a Sycamore tree. My left arm was still partially broken, my running had made feel extremely nauseous. I slid down the trunk of the tree, taking grateful gasps of the cold night air into my lungs. I was losing track of my injuries, my depression was making it hard to care for myself. At least it was mending fast, although Tom's runes probably had a lot to do with it. I was strictly told I couldn't heal myself of any injuries Tom had given me. Maybe Tom was the reason for that? Maybe he had felt sorry for me, having to deal with all of this shit with a broken arm just to add insult to injury.

He was the one who broke it in the first place! My mind protested. What motivation would he have to heal you? What the hell is wrong with you?

Thunder rumbled in the distance and the heavens opened up once again and rain pelted down from the skies. I closed my eyes in the darkness and all I could feel was each painful thought cascading over me. I knew I had told myself many times before that I couldn't do this, but I seriously couldn't.

I shouldn't need to. The torment was draining me of all my strength. Tom's psychological abuse was crippling my mind, and with him amping up the physical violence I was getting panicked. My hands were constantly shaking from the PTSD. I was going crazy.

"Hermione? There you are! We don't have time for rest breaks. Come on!" It was Xavier. I shouldn't have even bothered to open my eyes. There was no need to. Lightning cracked loudly, lashing at the skies like a whip, and as the rain came thundering down I smiled grimly.

"Don't worry about me." I waved him off dismissively, "Keep going. Tom will be here at any moment."

Lightning cracked across the sky and a momentary look of disbelief flashed across his face.

"You really think I'm going to leave you." Xavier said. He stepped closer, footfalls crunching dry leaves in his path. "You know, I flew up to Ravenclaw Tower to help you, and almost got hexed off my broom by that fucking asshole Tom. Not the first time I could have died either and you really think I'm just going to leave you stranded here? Nice."