Be My Superman (A Louis Tomlinson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 25

"JOSLYNN! You have GOT to see this!" I heard Niall yell, making me laugh. I followed Niall over to where he was at the race track ride.

"Can we ride it?" He eagerly asked.

I laughed and nodded my head, soon to be dragged to the line by my arm.

However, that hurt. He had gripped my wrist, and his nails were digging into my skin slightly.

My freshly cut skin.

It hurt. I felt his nails going into the cuts. Since they were fresh, just about anything touching them in general hurt a lot. Him grabbing my wrist hurt like hell. 

"Shit," I whimpered, holding onto the sweatshirt sleeve that was in Niall's grasp just a second ago.

"You okay?" He asked concerned. "I didn't actually hurt you, did I?"

I just shook my head and forced a smile. "I'm fine," I assured him.

Niall seemed a bit unsure, but thankfully turned his attention back to the line we were waiting in, thankfully.

I would never hear the end of it if Niall found out about my cuts. I can't let him figure it out.

Thankfully, Niall didn't bring it up our whole thirty minutes we spent waiting in line. Though, I think he sensed something was wrong. I tried to ignore his slight change in attitude and get pumped up for the ride we were about to go on.

Niall and I ended up having a blast on the ride. We then carried on throughout our day, riding various rides, playing games, and seeing cool shows in the park.

Eventually, it was night time. We had just finished seeing the firework show, so a lot of people were attempting to leave the park. The thought of Niall finding out about my cuts completely slipped my mind, so I was feeling more stress free.

"The park is open for another hour or so. Do you want to go get something to eat?" Niall asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Sure." I was getting fairly hungry, anyway.

Niall and I went to get food at a small food stand and we then went to sit at a table at an outdoor food court-like place nearby.

We had sat down and started eating our food. It was fairly hot outside, especially since I was wearing a sweatshirt. Without thinking, I rolled up the sleeves of my sweatshirt and continued to eat.

It was a few seconds later when I noticed Niall intently staring at me. He had stopped eating. "You okay?" I asked.

"Joslynn, why the fuck are there dark red cuts on your arm?"

Shit. Shit shit shit shit.

My eyes grew wide and I instantly brought my sleeves down. "Nothing to worry about," I quietly lied.

"Joslynn, give me your fucking arms," Niall demanded. He seemed a mixture of mad and worried.

"It's none of your business," I snapped.

"Oh, you better be fucking sure it's my business. You're like my fucking best friend and sister. Tell me what the fuck is on your arm," he continued to demand.

That's when I felt the first tear fall. I should have been more careful.

Niall then came to my side of the table and grabbed my arms. There was no use in stopping him. I just let the tears fall.

He lifted up the sleeves and studied the deep cuts on my wrists. I then lifted my head from the bowing position it was in. I then saw Niall make eye contact with me with tears running down his face. "Why?" He weakly asked.

Seeing him in that state broke my heart, and I cried more. Niall and I then quickly made our way out of the park and to my car. He led me to the passenger side and he got in on the driver's side.

"Niall, you can't drive," I said.

"I know. This is so you can't drive away," he replied, the tears still evident.

A few minutes of silence went by before he weakly asked again, "Why?"

It was in that moment I heard so much emotion in his voice. So much pain, worry, anger, and sadness. It was devastating.

But, it was also in that moment when I felt this strange sense of trust. So, I did what most people would do with someone they trust.

I told him. 

I told him everything.  

From the depression, to the eating disorders, to the other night.

After I had told him everything, he cried. He had calmed down before, but he just let it all out. He then pulled me into a hug. We didn't let go for a good five minutes.

I told him all about how I had been feeling, and how I had no intentions to cut ever again. He didn't seem convinced at first, but he eventually came around.

After a few more minutes of silence, I said, "You can't tell anybody...I just told you something I haven't even told Louis. You cannot tell anyone."

"Joslynn, you need help! You're living a fucking lie! You needed help long ago. Cutting is dangerous. It takes lives. You get hurt every time something touches your wrist. This isn't okay!" Niall said.

"Niall, it'll all be fine. I don't want to cut again. It hurts. It makes me feel disgusted and ashamed. I don't want to do it again...and the depression and the eating disorders are from a long time ago. They're gone," I tried to assure him.

He didn't seem fully convinced.

"Please, Niall. You can check my arms every single day. I will update you on everything I feel...you just have to swear not to tell."

After a few minutes of silence, he lifted his head. "You'll tell me everything? You'll let me see your wrists?"

I took a deep breath before closing my eyes and nodding my head. "I promise."

After another minute, Niall finally said, "I won't tell anyone."

I feel like I may be telling Niall to do the wrong thing, but I can't risk Louis finding out.

If anyone else finds out...I'm ruined.