To My Future Cheating Husband

XXXII. Least of Problems

I sip my tea, "I find it hard to believe all dads like you."

"Well, my ex-" he stops talking.

I place down the cup, "Go on."

Eli puffs his cheeks, "My exams are coming soon. I better study for it." He grabbed a strip of bacon and munch on it.

I cut the pancake in half, "You don't have to act like that. We both have exes, and we both had sex before. We're not kids." I dip the slice into syrup.

Eli halts his chewing, "You don't...feel anything knowing-" he didn't finish his sentence.

"No. Not really. I mean, it's not a big deal unless someone makes it a big deal."

He swallows the content inside his mouth. "Right. No big deal." His tone doesn't sound like a good one.

"Do you want to make it a big deal?"

Immediately, he shook his head. "No. No." He still doesn't sound good.

I place down my utensils, "Elijah."

"No. I mean, I know we were with other people so...yeah...no big deal."

I stood up and grabbed his hands. Scanning my eyes around, I lead Eli towards the guest room. With my back against the door, I said: "Something is swirling inside that head of yours. Spill it."

Eli settled down on the bed and heaved a breath. "I mean, I know you weren't a virgin, and you know I'm not a virgin, but I don't know why I'm so irritated."

This is definitely not the type of conversation someone in a situationship would have.

"I think it's stupid, so that's why I don't want to talk about it." He looks up, "I mean me. I'm stupid."

I nod, "That is pretty stupid."

Eli groaned and flopped his body on the guest bed. "Tell this feeling to go away."

"Go away."

Eli chuckles, "Wow. Not feeling any better." He groans before kicking his limbs around. "It's not you. It's me."

"Wow, you're breaking up with me already?"

His eyes narrow, "You know what I mean."

I settle down beside him. I place a palm on his head, and he stops moving. "If you're uncomfortable knowing I've been with other guys then-"

He sat upward, and my hand flinched back, "No! No! I'm not going to break up our half relationship."

I snicker, "Half relationship?"

"You know, I'm finally halfway there, so half a relationship."

Eli grabs my hands and moves it toward his lap. "We have been with other people," he stated. "But none of it matters as long we're together now." He nods to himself.

"So, where did that behavior come from earlier?" I found out the best way to maintain a relationship - or whatever it is between Eli and me - is to talk. Talk through the insecurities before leaping to conclusions.

"I mean, it's just...I was worried-" his eyes went elsewhere, "that you know when you're with me long enough, you would realize how those guys you dated or been together with are better." He peeks at me, "I've seen the guys you dated."

"And you think they're better than you?" Then, I remember how Eli confessed his thoughts about Luke towards me.

"Ava. Look at me." He ran his hair back, "I'm not good looking like all the guys you date. I'm not fit like them. I'm not smart. I'm...just Eli."