"And they're still recovering after Vextian's crap, Jox. For gods' sake, Asurah is building shelters for his people so he doesn't have to lose anymore, and I refuse to drag him into my mess."
Jox then stood up, sniffling as he looked down at me with agonized blue eyes. "I've only ever given my heart to one other person, Del...and he left me for someone else, too."
My heart broke even further as I stood up as well, hesitating before taking a small step towards him. "Jox,"
Jox shook his head and looked at me, pinning me in place with those brilliant, beautiful eyes of his. "No. I get it. You have people to protect, and really, I do get it. But Delkele? You shouldn't have to be bullied into making that choice. You're your own person, and only you can choose what happens." He tore his gaze away and began rubbing his arms, looking like a kicked puppy. "Despite the claims about you...you're a good king. Anyone else would have risked war to be happy, but you...you care more about your people's needs than your own, and I understand." He then gulped and looked down at his hands. "I-I think it'll be best if I return to Glacida so I-I don't cause any unnecessary problems for you or your people. I'll have Asurah work with you over comms. He'll have more of an idea about what he wants for his bunkers than I would."
He gulped and went to turn, and I don't know what made me move, perhaps the fear of losing yet another person I cared about, but before I knew it, I grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop in place. "I-I love you." My voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, and I honestly don't even know why I said it. Why I admitted such a heavy thing so suddenly. It just...came out of me, and Jox was rigid under my hand, and now I was beginning to regret saying anything at all.
He turned slowly, bright blue eyes clashing with crimson. I yanked my hand back as if it had been burnt with fire and gulped, averting my eyes in shame. "I-I'm sorry, I-"
I gasped when Jox cut off my words with a passionate kiss, his hands grabbing both sides of my face as he shoved me against the nearest wall, keeping me in place.
Initially, my eyes were wide open with shock, but eventually...I let myself have just this one thing as I closed my eyes and kissed him back just as fiercely. One last hurrah before my life fell into misery.
I at least deserved that much.
I hummed shakily as Jox's tongue slipped past my lips, my blood warming with desperation. Was this a bad idea? Probably. But did I care? No. However, I was worried about the prying eyes of my sister and anyone else in the castle, so with great reluctance, I pulled away from the man in front of me, breathless as I caught his glazed eyes.
"We shouldn't do this here," I muttered against his lips, causing the other man's breath to catch before he nodded his head in agreeance.
I almost cried when Jox pulled away from me, rubbing the back of his neck. "Whose room is closest?"
I cleared my throat, my heart heavy in my ears. "M-Mine. But we need to move fast, I-I don't want anyone to see us and take this back to my sister. Gods know she wouldn't ever let me hear the end of it."
Jox nodded and grabbed my hand, silently telling me to lead the way. I bit my bottom lip and inhaled shakily before I gathered my courage and began dragging Jox with me, my eyes peeled for anyone out an about as I took him to my room. Luckily, there seemed to be no one meandering around, and as soon as my bedroom door closed behind us, Jox was pinning me against the wood, mouth attacking mine as he pressed his body close to me.
My blood felt like it was bubbling as I grabbed Jox's neck and pulled him closer to me, our tongues clashing as my body swelled with arousal. And in this moment, there was no one but him and me. Screw Elphes and his threats. Screw everything and everyone else. I was allowed to be a little selfish, wasn't I?
Barbaric: Chapter Eighteen
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