When The Stars Saw Us

sixteen

TW: Bulimia, purging (my DMs are always open!)


Eve

For the past few days, all I could think about is Landon. The way his chocolate brown hair swished through the wind, the way his eyes looked like an evergreen field of plants, the way he did everything so smoothly.

Landon, Landon, Landon.

Today is New Years Eve. We got the week off at school because of the endless snow, and partly because the New Year falls on a school day. Isabella invited the whole school to her New Years party, I wasn't gonna go but when I saw Sakura so excited about it I had to. Isabella isn't my favorite person but I'll make an exception if it involves Sakura.

I wonder if Landon's going-

Right when I get that thought, my phone starts to buzz.

Landon.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. He's never actually called me before.

Chaos goes on in my head, my heart is beating rapidly. I slowly pick up my phone, my hand is shaking. I quickly press the answer button and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Yes?" I quickly say, my eyes still shut.

"Hey Eve, I just wanted to ask if you were going to Isabella's party. I want to go but I needed to ask you first, you know cause I wanna go with you.." He mumbles the last part.

I slowly open my eyes back up, my lips turn into a smirk. "You wanna go with me?" I mockingly say.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" He asks with no sarcasm what so ever.

"Um no, but I was planning to go with Sakura. Not you, sorry Landy-bear." I laugh.

"Great, then I'll go with you two- wait. Did you just call me Landy-bear?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?"I mock him.

"Whatever, I'll just come to your house now since I have nothing to do." He hangs up without warning and I feel my heart explode in to many different emotions. He's coming over? Now?

I pace around my room, picking up some dirty clothes on my floor. I run down my stairs quickly, my arms filled with clothes. I get to the laundry machine and toss the filthy clothes in the washer. I won't bother taking it out, my mom usually does it.

I run back up the stairs, stuffing some clean laundry under my bed. I shove all my current problems in the back of my head and focus of the new set of ones. I quickly make my bed and shove some pillows in front of the others. Once I'm done, I lay on my bed and tiredly sigh.

I keep telling myself I haven't really lived yet, but the truth is that I feel dead. I feel as if the seventeen years I've lived, I've done nothing but die. Everyday, something would kill me even more. Killing that little girl I used to be, the little girl I wished I still was. That little girl knew how to live. She found importance in anything and everything. She wasn't exposed to the truth of the world just yet. Some have been lied to their entire life, some have been told the truth half way through. I don't know how or who told me, but I wished they had just kept lying.

One by one, the honesty of this Earth kept unraveling. The endless nights of screaming, the endless mornings of regret, the endless voices in my head.

I just want to live, but how can you revive a meaningless person? I'm practically gone already.

My thoughts end when I remember Landon is still in fact coming over. My feelings may be a little confusing for him, but there is one thing that is for sure.