Chapter 26 - This Modern Love

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"What are you holding out for?
What's always in the way?
Why so damn absent-minded?
Why so scared of romance?

This modern love, breaks me.
This modern love, wastes me."
- Bloc Party

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A week.

A whole week it's been since I've seen Hunter.

Last Friday, his parents decided to bring him with them on this last minute business trip. They said it'd be a good way for them to "spend some quality time together." At least that's what they told him. Needless to say, he didn't really want to go, and if I'm being selfish here, I didn't want him to go either, but I encouraged it anyway.

If it helps him get along better with his parents, then who am I to complain? Hunter deserves that. He deserves stable and healthy and normal. When I talked to him this past Wednesday, he sounded happy. He mentioned that parents actually seemed to be making an effort, that they were finally getting along for once. He sounded hopeful, like he was actually having a decent time with them, and I was happy for him.

But that didn't stop me from missing him, or Hunter from missing me.

See, the thing is, I knew that I'd gotten attached to him. I knew that I liked being with him more than with anyone else. I knew that my day just doesn't feel complete unless I get to talk to him. I knew all of that, but I guess I never really knew just how much until he wasn't around every day.

It's strange, how quickly you can get attached to someone. It's like one day, they're a stranger, just a passing face in the crowd, and then quietly and without you ever really noticing, they become a part of your happiness. You crave time with them, you long for their touch, and when you don't get it, it's like a part of you is just gone. A piece of you is missing, and nothing is going to feel quite right until you're with them again.

As for Hunter and I, we discovered all this over the past week. After all, we'd been so used to seeing each other nearly every day that the time apart was jarring.

Up until this point, I'd been refusing to fully acknowledge my feelings, telling myself that my heart was just playing tricks on me, that maybe all of the time we spend together was clouding my judgment.

You know how they say, out of sight, out of mind? Yeah, well, this whole week kind of disproved that theory.

If anything, I'm more sure of my feelings now than I was before. I'm even wondering if Hunter might be feeling the same way.

All week, both of us were in different places, doing different things, with different people. We should've been able to forget, been glad for the time apart or grateful for the opportunity to get some perspective.

Instead, whenever he called, and we finally did get to talk, we both knew where we'd rather be, or more importantly, who we'd rather be with. Don't we sound healthy and not codependent at all?

Needless to say, I am ecstatic that he's finally coming back today.

Right now, I'm sitting on my front steps, glancing up at the sound of every car coming down the street, waiting for one of them to be his.

I'm starting to get discouraged, wondering if maybe I should just wait inside instead when finally, one of the black cars happens to be a familiar one.

He's back.

A smile makes its way onto my face as he pulls up to the curb. I stand and brush my hands off on my jeans as Hunter steps out of his car and onto my driveway. The sight of him is like a breath of fresh air.

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