The art of eyecontact

y/n

Okay so basically you're coraline but were gonna use your name.
TW: SELF HARM, panic attacks, su!cide.
If you deal with any of these things tell someone and remember you are loved i promise.
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I felt my heart pounding and i felt like i couldnt breathe. It felt like i was choking on oxygen. My hands felt tingly and started to shake a little. I felt like i was going crazy or even die.

Suddenly the door swung open and Damiano entered the bathroom.
"Y/n is having a panic attack again, affrettatevi!" He yelled.
He kneeled down to my height and comforted me.
"Come here piccola, its gonna be okay i promise"
Victoria, Ethan and Thomas came running towards the bathroom.
"Breathe in and out y/n it will pass" Victoria said.
I tried it and it kinda worked but i was still overwhelmed with my emotions.
"Count the colors in the bathroom" she then said.
She had panic attacks sometimes as well and she always knew how to handle it and how to help others.
"Blue, green, orange, purple, white, grey" i said with a trembling voice. I was starting to feel better and the panic attack finally went away. I got up and walked to the couch and they walked with me and brought some blankets. We watched a movie together and i finally felt better.

Damiano pov:
I met y/n 4 years ago via Victoria. They knew eachother from school and they have been friends since that moment. She was there before the band and when we met her we instantly became friends. She was really kind and funny but i could see there was something going on with her. How she sometimes zoned out while we were talking to her or like she was somewhere else with her mind. After we got to know her better we knew she wasn't always mentally stable. She never really told us the exact thing that happened to her but we knew we had to be there for her no matter what. She had depression and alot of anxiety. These past few months it has been getting much worse. I decided to talk to vic, ethan and thomas about it when y/n was asleep.

"Guys i think we need to talk about y/n"
"Yea i think we do its really starting to get more serious" vic said.
"Exactly it has been getting much worse these past months, and im not sure if we should let her go back to her apartment when the weekend is over"
"I think so too actually" Ethan said with a worried tone.
"I agree" Thomas added.
"So what are we gonna say to her?" Vic asked
"I will talk to her" i said.
I walked over to y/n.
"Y/n" I whispered.
She woke up.
"Yes?"
"What do you think about staying here for awhile?"
"What?"
"You know with us, i mean your always here at the weekends why not everyday!" I tried to say as excited as possible.
"I- i dont know Damiano, i love my apartment and its closer to my work."
"Please y/n it'll be fun"
"I think i'll just stay at my own apartment, thanks for the offer though" she said smiling softly.
I didn't wanna tell her.
I walked back to the bandmates.
"So?" Thomas asked.
I shook my head.
They looked worried.
"Isnt there anything we can do at all?" Vic said.
"You don't think she would actually?-" Ethan said.
"To be honest Ethan i don't know" vic replied.
My heart sank at the thought.
"We cant keep her here against her will" Thomas stated.
"Remember the last time we tried it and telling her the actual reason" vic said.
"What if we just let her go and check on her EVERY day" i said.
"Yea that could work" Ethan said.
"Okay so lets do that" Thomas said.
"Yea okay" vic said.

The first days went well, she always answered our phone calls with facetime saying she was doing fine. But one day she didnt answer.

"Vic can you call y/n today" i asked
"Yea sure"
She dialed the number and held her phone to her ear.
"She's not answering damiano"
"What"
"SHE'S NOT ANSWERING HER PHONE" vic yelled with a worried tone.
"Do you really think something happend? I mean so far she's been fine." Thomas stated.
He was right but it couldnt hurt to check.
"Lets check it out" i said
They nodded and we went to the car.
I dont know why but i felt it in my gut that something was wrong so i started driving faster.
We arrived at her place and i opened the door with the spare key. I looked around the apartment not being able to bring out a word, expecting the worst. I started to freak out not seeing her anywhere. The only place i haven't looked was the bathroom. I walked to the hallway and stood infront of the bathroom door. I grabbed the handle and opened the door. My heart sank and my knees were weak. "GUYS SHE'S IN HERE HURRY UP" i yelled.
They came running.
"CALL AN AMBULANCE" i yelled.
There she was, lying on the cold bathroom floor somehow looking peaceful but the bottle of pills in her hand changed the entire image. I froze at the sight of her. Tears started running down my cheeks and they wouldn't stop. I finally got it together and lifted her outside. The ambulance just arrived and i placed her on the stretcher. "Please stay with us y/n" i whispered. They closed the door and we drove behind them.

Time skip.

We were in the waiting room waiting for the result. My eyes were dry from all the crying and they were red and puffy. Finally the nurse walked towards us.
"She is gonna be fine but she has to stay here for a little while" i didnt hear the rest i was just relieved at that sentence. "You can come see her now"

Y/n pov:
I opened my eyes and there was a bright white light.
I saw my 4 favorite people staring at me with red eyes. I felt a gush of guilt come over me right away. I was numb but the way i scared them made me feel really bad.
"I- im so sorry guys"
"Were just glad your okay y/n" Victoria said hugging me.
Thomas and Ethan joined the hug as well but Damiano didn't.
He was sitting next to the bed with his face burried in his hands.
"Damiano" i said with a weak voice.
He looked up and i could finally see his face, he was pale and his eyes were red.
My sight got blurry and my heart ached, tears started dripping from my cheeks.
"I cant lose you y/n, did you know what its like to almost lose you?" He said with a shaky voice
He paused for a moment.
"Its the worst feeling in the world" he continued.
"My heart aches for you y/n"
That last sentence made my heart drop.
I bit my inner lip to stop myself from crying an ocean. He came closer and stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes at his touch. He comforted me and stayed with me the entire night.