TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

17

There were a lot of things that might have triggered his stress, but no one else knew.

Now, thinking that he was still doing everything he used to do to survive the field he chose, Jungkook most probably had a hard time dealing with them although they were unsaid. It must have been hard for him to pretend he was naturally handling 'social butterfly' things just fine.

When I checked my phone, Jungkook asked out of the blue, "Uh, this might be rude but I'm genuinely curious... do you have a friend? It's not that I don't think it's possible, but before you sounded like you don't like the idea of having one."

It was a first time I felt the embarrassment of saying no to that question.

"I do have one, if my twin brother counts. He really listens a lot to me. Well, is Taehyung already a friend? That's something he has to clarify. I don't mind if he's not."

Jungkook nodded. "That's cool. Twin brother?"

I shrugged. "He's a journalist. We're not the ideal siblings you can find, but we click it off when we want to."

"Oh, that sounds really nice. My older sister is a good listener, too. But we haven't been able to talk much lately since I'm busy and she has her own family already."

I hummed in response, half-smiling. I didn't know he had a sister, and this little interaction was making me think we had at least a room for a developing friendship... hopefully. Whatever happened before, I wanted to disregard it and try whether it was a considerable idea to be well-acquainted with him, if not be friends. Sure, there were boundaries here and there and we both felt it, and some awkward moments hang around us, perhaps we could eventually go somewhere.

"Are you feeling better now?" I asked, indirectly bringing up what happened the other night. Somehow I wanted to know how he was dealing with things that could still have been bugging him.

"Yes. Thank you for asking."

"Things get tough at times. I'm grateful you were able to talk about it."

"I'm more than grateful someone was willing to hear how insufferable I was."

I arched my brows, choosing to stay quiet.

Jungkook continued. "But I don't want you to think that I'm only talking to you when I need to get things off my chest. I'm sorry if I somehow made you feel like that."

"I never thought of it that way. I'll be willing to listen to anyone who needs to be heard."

His face had a calm demeanor when he smiled. "That can be exhausting for you."

"It's actually not. People barely come to me for an advice or whatever and that's pretty much understandable. I'm not really a good confidante."

"I disagree. In fact, you knocked some sense into me. There have been times that I'm caught up in overwhelming emotions. Lately I've been feeling a little uncertain of many things."

"Like what?"

Jungkook leaned back in his chair, shaking his head while a small smile was playing in his lips. "Here we go again. I don't want to go further. That sucks for you to hear me rant for the, second, no, third time, I guess?"

"I don't mind. I'm up for a conversation just to kill some time."

"Do you feel like you're a tourist of your own body? Like you don't know some of your parts and you're scared to go and discover them because you may not want what you're going to know?"

"You must have done a lot of contemplating these days."

"I did, but I still have no answers."

"It's okay to not know the answers yet. It's going to take a little or more time. You don't have sort out things in rush."