bandages || calum hood

thirty-five

"Please write your name-." Belle's voice trailed off as she caught a glimpse of me. She hasn't changed much aside from the fact that her raven black hair went up to her belly button, and she got a little tanner. Her eyes. Those black doe eyes looked into mine with shock. "Calum."

"I-" I cut myself off right before I could ask her about the baby. I didn't even know if it was true; none of it made sense. "I just need to grab a few band-aids."

"You got into another fight." Belle's voice was timid, almost frightened that I would yell at her. The fact that she would think that made my heart sink.

"I guess." I shrugged, cutting off eye contact between the two of us. I couldn't just look at her the same anymore. All the hurt, all the empty bottles. Hell, if it weren't for her, I would've paid more attention to the help Michael was seeking.

"Sit down on the bed. I'll fix you up." Belle cleared her throat, pulling her silky hair into a ponytail. Her hands slid on the latex gloves as I reluctantly took a seat on the stiff maroon bed. She pulled out a first aid kit and several rolls of bandages. "Who did you fight?"

"Luke." I gulped as she sighed, pulling out the cotton balls from the cabinet. The office was empty, the lights were dim since she was the only one working at that time.

"Take off your shirt." She blushed as she looked away onto the ground. It was like we met for the first time, like she completely forgot what happened between us. Pulling off my shirt, I winced as my wound got scratched by it. Belle took a cotton ball by her tweezers and dipped it in rubbing alcohol.

"Fuck." I clenched my teeth as the alcohol burned into my wound, bubbling as blood started to spill out again. Belle applied pressure to my torso, biting her lip as I squirmed around.

"Why did you fight Luke?" Belle took a roll of bandages and wrapped it around my wound. Her eyebrows furrowed as she attempted to make the lining straight.

"Why didn't you tell me that you had a miscarriage?" I blurted out, unable to continue the small conversation we were having. I needed to know everything; I was sick and tired of being clueless. Belle stopped, her eyes widening as she cut off the bandage.

"Who told you that?" Her voice shook as she stepped back, her eyes meeting mine.

"Luke. Now tell me what the fuck is going on." I grabbed her wrist, preventing her from going away. Tears pooled in Belle's eyes, her lip trembled as she looked down. "Don't tell me that you are heartless enough to just-"

"You think this doesn't hurt for me?" Belle croaked out, a hiccup following after. "Calum, do you really think that I wasn't broken after what happened?"

"Well no, considering that you just gave me a call that-"

"How the fuck do you think I felt when I hit the corner of that damn table and blood came out of me? Do you even know how shocked and scared I was at that moment? I had to get an ambulance I prayed to God that my baby would be safe." Belle sniffled as she allowed the tears to run down her face. My stomach clenched as I saw her cry, biting back my comments. "When I found out he was gone, Calum, I was in denial. I would deny it all and feel my stomach because I missed my baby."

Belle shook her head as she teared up, sobs escaping her lips. "I wanted to have a family, Calum. I wanted to be the mother of that child. I wanted to raise him up and make him the gentleman that his father is, and you don't know how hard it was to see happy families walk around all over the place as I subconsciously rubbed my stomach, knowing I would sooner or later have to accept the fact that I no longer had a child in there."

"Why didn't you tell me that?" I whispered as I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. Belle shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut.

"It was better to leave you hating me than understanding why I left." Belle wiped her tears, going back to treating my wounds. A cotton ball dabbed onto my bleeding lip, Belle paying specific attention to that area. "I needed to be there for Rory."

"Why? What happened to Rory?" I knew that Rory was going through some problems after that night when we had to drive her to Carter, but I didn't get any details as to why.

"It's my parents. After I left, they took all their anger out on Rory, and she's been having panic attacks because of them. Carter is trying to get custody over her, but in the meantime, I am staying there to prevent anything from happening." Belle plastered a bandaid onto my cheek, applying cream to another cut of mine.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" It all seemed unreasonable; I mean, I don't understand as to why she would lie.

"Calum, I needed to leave you. I needed to be there for my sister and give her all my attention." Belle sighed, lightly placing her hand over mine.

"No. Why didn't you just tell me instead of making me go through all of this pain?" I took my hand away, my head facing down onto the bed. "It hurts, Belle."

"It might take a long time, and I didn't want you to wait for me. Calum, I wanted to give you my full love and attention but I can't, and you deserve someone who will do that for you. What if Michael was going through problems? Wouldn't you want to drop everything for him?" She didn't know yet.

"Michael's dead." All sounds diminished, the stomping of students upstairs being the only sense of noise. Belle gasped, her hand covering her mouth.

"What do you mean?" She grabbed my arm, her eyes staring intently into mine. I sucked in a breath, shaking as I remember it all clearly.

"Committed suicide. He made the police shoot him." Belle wrapped her arms around me as I started to cry. I felt weak, but I needed someone to lean on. Everyone does. "He's really gone, Belle."

"I haven't talked to Rose in weeks; she blocked everyone off." Belle hushed me as I cried onto her shirt. "I think she already knew."

"They cremated him, Belle. Rose found out after I told her, and we threw his ashes into that damn ocean." I clung onto her as she rubbed my back. "Please come back to me. Please Belle, I can't lose another person I love."

"Calum, baby." Belle detached our bodies, her eyes staring right at mine. I grabbed her shirt, crashing our lips together. Belle's tears mixed into our kiss as she held fistfuls of my shirt before pushing me off.

"We can't, Calum. I'm sorry."

~

i cant wait to end this

-kat hoodings