Coming Home (English Version)

51. Red

Hamdan

I finish my lunch at the restaurant inside the Epsom Downs Racecourse by putting my fork down and whipping my mouth with the cloth napkin. As I look at the men sitting with me at the round table, I realise I'm the first one to finish by far. Did I eat too fast? It's not the first time I've noticed that I have been finding it hard to relax even when there's no hurry.

A waiter comes to take my plate away. "Would you like anything else, sir? Perhaps tea or coffee?" He offers.

"Not right now, thank you," I reply.

Summers are different for me now. Yes, we still manage to make it to every major horse racing event but now I can't be away from Dubai weeks and weeks at the time. I will have to be travelling back and forth from the UAE to the UK if I want to be at these events or at the family getaways. Layla mentioned wanting to take Saeed somewhere, I can't remember where, but lately she hasn't said anything else about it.

I take my phone from my pocket as everyone else at the table continues eating and head straight to the pictures to see my son. He's getting so big in the blink of an eye and now he runs at the speed of light around the house. My fingers stop swiping the pictures when I see one with Layla in it; she's bending down to pick Saeed up from the carpet and on the next one she's lifting him up in the air. I go back several times between the two pictures I took, they're a couple of weeks old.

I straighten myself up and show the pictures to uncle Saeed, who's sitting to my right.

He smiles. "Mother and son, lovely."

"She's so thin," I point out.

He looks back at me with raised eyebrows and a serious face. "She has been for a while."

Really? How come I didn't notice it until now? Uncle Saeed goes back to his food and I put my phone down trying to think when was the last time I saw her enjoy a big meal like she used to, or eating a massive slice of her favorite chocolate cake. It's hard to tell if that hasn't happened or if maybe I haven't been around to witness it. We are so far removed from each other's lives that we don't even fight anymore, it has been so long since the last time there was an argument. There's only this dooming indifference towards one another and I don't know which one is worse.

Once everyone is done eating and after drinking our coffee, we go back to the box to enjoy the rest of the races. On the long and wide hallway leading to the private boxes, I ran into Amir.

"We must talk, brother!" He says to me after we hug each other.

I smile and roll my eyes at him because I know what this is about, he's adamant to buy a horse from me that I'm not willing to sell. "It's not happening," I warn him.

He puffs. "Oh, come on! Let's just talk!" His hand on my back invites me to go into his box.

"I'll be right there with you," I tell Uncle Saeed.

We sit in a small living area in the corner of the half empty box, more coffee and tea is offered to us but we only ask for water. I can't avoid laughing at all the silly reasons he's giving me to try to convince me to sell my horse.

"Listen, brother," I say to him. "I can send you the info about all the other horses you can buy from me."

"Please!" He complains. " You're killing me here!"

"I am not!" I deny. "Your bad luck is!"

"He's unlucky only when I'm not around," Nafisah's voice intervenes.

When I look up, I see her standing next to us, wearing a very red dress with a matching fascinator that has a mesh that falls right below her eyes. Although hesitant at first, I finally do the right thing and get up to greet her properly. Amir knows nothing about what his sister has done and I'm not going to cause any drama or discomfort here. Her brother invites her to join us and she takes a seat next to him.