Coming Home (English Version)

45. Welcome

Layla

I exhale deeply through my mouth and hold onto Hamdan's forearms with all I got as my body bends over with pain. It feels as if my hips are about to be pulled apart, accompanied by a lot of pressure on my lower back and horrible cramps on my abdomen every time a contraction comes.

"Take me to the hospital," I beg my husband. "Please, get me a doctor that puts some meds in me that will knock me out of this suffering," the words leave by mouth one by one between every attempt to gasp for air.

"No, no," he replies calmly. "You made me promise, remember?"

"What are you even talking about?" I demand, pretending I don't know.

"You made me promise that no matter what you did or said, we would stick to the plan of a home birth unless Helen indicated otherwise. And that I shouldn't listen to you if you requested a hospital, medication or a doctor."

"Argh!" I straighten myself up and look at him face to face. "You never listen to me, why would you start now?"

His eyebrows move up on his forehead. "I always listen to you! What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind," I walk past him and pace around the bedroom.

This pain is unlike anything I've felt before and is not letting me think straight. How am I supposed to concentrate on pushing this baby out when all I can think of is how much this hurts? And I'm not even at the worst part yet. The sun is already setting and I figured we might be done by now but no, he's definitely taking his time.

There's a knock on the door and Houyem pops her head inside the room. "Helen's here!" She announces.

"Oh, thank heavens!" I breathe out.

Houyem and Helen step inside. Almost immediately after she asks me how am I doing, I can feel another contraction coming and she assists me while I get through this one.

"Is it over?" Helen wonders.

I nod my head in reply.

"Okay, honey, I need to check on you to see how dilated you are," she explains.

So, I lie in the bed and she helps me remove my underwear.

"This might be uncomfortable," she elaborates as she puts gloves on. "So, I'll try to be as quick as possible, only a couple of seconds, okay?"

I nod one more time and close my eyes.

"Breathe in," she instructs me.

Just as she promised, it is very uncomfortable but I simply hold my breath.

"And out," Helen says, removing her hand from me. "Seven centimeters!" She states excitedly. "We're on the final stretch and you're doing great."

It doesn't feel like I'm doing great, but I'll try to believe her. After throwing her gloves away, she helps me put my underwear back on and I sit on the edge of the bed.

"My mother's name was Helen, did I ever tell you that?" I wonder.

"No," she shakes her head.

"She had blonde hair like yours," I point out, maybe that's why I liked her in the first place.

She looks at me empathetically. "I'm sure she's very proud of how you're doing."

I smile back at her and ask her to pass me the Pilates ball. She goes to grab the huge blue sphere from a corner and holds it down to the floor in front of me so I can sit down. I transfer to the ball and continue with my breathing exercises doing small circles with my hips.