Chapter 3

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Lan Wangji had just finished replying to all the letters for the day and he was tired. Not only had his sleeping schedule been disrupted as of late because of making good on his and Wei Ying's 'every day' promise and he had yet to get used to it but he was worried about the said husband as well. Ever since coming back to the Cloud Recesses a week prior, Wei Ying had not been quite himself and Lan Wangji suspected that he had been the main reason for that.

Even though his husband begged him to continue every single evening, Lan Wangji could not not notice that it hurt Wei Ying every time. His husband would of course not let anything be seen, but it was crystal clear from the way his jaw would be clenched and his hands would be almost ripping the sheets with how forcefully he was holding them in his fists. It would always subside in a matter of minutes; it was however weighing heavily on Lan Wangji's heart.

He was not experienced in love making, he had never received any education in this field and there was no one he could ask for advice aside for Wei Ying himself. His husband seemed confident enough, referring to old books that Nie Huisang had been showing him during their days of studying at the Cloud Recesses but Lan Wangji was starting to think they were doing something wrong. Should he only be enjoying himself, making his partner suffer every day?

Or was it because Wei Ying did not have his golden core anymore so they could not become true cultivation partners? Was that why it had always been painful for his husband? Lan Wangji did not want to think this was the real reason, he could never let Wei Ying know about this. He knew his husband was already feeling inferior to him, even more so that he had promised not to use demonic cultivation anymore. Without it, he was basically a normal person. Had Lan Wangji perhaps been putting too much strain on him all this time?

He tried everything he could think of to make his husband more at ease and to let him enjoy their 'every day' as well, to no avail. Despite Wei Ying moaning under him every night after overcoming the first awkward and forced minutes, it was more than clear that this was not how it should be. He always felt guilty in the morning when Wei Ying would not even be able to walk on his own and would be wincing and hissing every time he though Lan Wangji was not looking.

He could not ask anyone in the Cloud Recesses. Although the rules did not say anything about love making being prohibited, he was not sure it was a topic anyone would be willing to talk to him about, not even mentioning this activity being done between two men which, while not completely unheard of, was still not common. He would have perhaps had enough courage to ask Lan Xichen but his brother was in seclusion after the events of the Guanyin temple and he had enough to think of. Lan Wangji would not be so cruel to go ask him about his own love life when his brother had just lost someone dear to him.

That only left the option of seeking advice outside of the gates of the Cloud Recesses. But it would be too embarrassing asking strangers or even going to public or private establishments which were dealing with pleasure. No, no Gusu Lan sect disciple could be seen anywhere near them, and asking this kind of questions no less! It would completely ruin the sect's image. And it was imperative right now that it stayed as pristine as their robes to be able to provide protection to Wei Ying.

There were still people who wanted to hurt his husband for his past choices even though his innocence had been announced to the whole cultivation world. For now, it was only the Gusu Lan sect's reputation as the most righteous sect which was keeping Wei Ying safe from harm. Lan Wangji was not willing to risk his husband's safety over something like this. He would rather not make love to him ever again.

But perhaps if he was to seek advice from the person who had enlightened Wei Ying himself during their teenage years? He could go to the Unclean Realm and seek out Nie Huisang. Although it would still be very much awkward and embarrassing, that was his best bet. Yes, he would do that, the first thing tomorrow morning. He would just have to find an excuse to tell his husband since the journey would take several days.

Determined, he stopped brooding over this and focused instead on cleaning up in his brother's study. Ever since Lan Xichen had retired into seclusion, Lan Wangji had been sharing sect leader duties with Lan Qiren so they would be able to run the Gusu Lan sect smoothly. The cultivation world was still in a disarray after the death of the Chief cultivator and things were quite unstable at the moment. That was why Lan Wangji volunteered himself to help his uncle to the best of his abilities. Now however, he would have to ask for a break to be able to go to Qinghe.

He was not sure how his uncle would take the news about his suddenly planned departure. Still, he had to do this for his husband so there was no going around it. His uncle would have to understand, or he would make him. Surely Lan Qiren could manage a few days without him, after all, he had been the acting sect leader for many years in the past.

And speaking of the said uncle, Lan Qiren had just come into the study looking rather bothered and grumpy. Perhaps now was not the time to be asking because Lan Wangji could tell that Lan Qiren wanted to talk to him about something.

Without a single word aside for a proper greeting, Lan Wangji started preparing tea. Lan Qiren sat down at the table and waited for him to come join him. The atmosphere seemed very awkward and Lan Wangji could not help himself but to think that what his uncle wanted to tell him was something very serious but also not quite a normal topic of conversation.

After they had both drunk two cups of tea, Lan Qiren finally started talking, not looking at him but instead staring at the table as if it had personally offended him: "Wangji, I have just visited your husband in the Jingshi. It is time that Wei Wuxian took upon himself some duties as everyone else, you know the rules. However, I could not not notice that there was something not right with him..."

His uncle's voice trailed into silence and Lan Wangji could see something he had never thought possible; his uncle was hesitating and looking for the right words. It alarmed him at once, Lan Qiren had never been one to avoid any topics and he had always known what he wanted to say before starting a conversation. Why was he suddenly looking so unwilling to continue? Lan Wangji remained silent, waiting for his uncle to continue in due time.

Lan Qiren cleared his throat and poured himself another cup of tea, the motion apparently calming him down a little and letting him rearrange his thoughts. "Wangji, I came to talk to you about how you treat your husband at night."

Lan Wangji's mouth almost fell open and only the long years of training in keeping his expressions contained helped him to not look at his uncle in utter disbelief and embarrassment. Still, he felt his ears heating up. He would have never expected Lan Qiren to be one to speak about love life so openly. Was his uncle alright?

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