Love Me With All of Your Heart

Chapter 4

Forth

Days gone by. I drowned in sorrow. I went to the bar every night and got wasted. It's just this time, I couldn't fuck anyone. Every time I got close to someone, Beam was there in my mind. Watching me. I was frozen before I even made a move. So, I keep on drinking and drinking. But booze can't ease my pain. All my friends look at me in pity. But they said the same; Beam has right to dump me. I was stupid.

I just don't get it. How come forgetting a birthday can cause me a relationship? He has right to get angry. He has right to yell at me.

Hell! He even has right to punch me.

But break up?

What have I done to deserve a break up?

"Ai'Forth, stop drinking," said Mao.

I snort.

"Talk to Ai'Beam. Make him understand. Apologize."

"Apologize? Over a stupid birthday?"

"To you, maybe it's not important. But some people cherish their birthday, Ai'Forth. Perhaps Ai'Beam is one of them."

"He shouldn't break up with me, Ai'Mao! He chose to break up with me! I wouldn't beg him to take me back!"

Mao sighs. "You begged Ren," he said softly.

"Yeah? Then what I got? Humiliation! Shame!" I growl. "I'm not going through that ever again!"

"Fine," said Mao slowly. "You love Beam less than Ren."

"Shit Ai'Mao!" I grab Mao's front shirt. "My love for Ren was nothing compared to what I feel for Beam now!"

"Then why don't you crawl for Beam? You did it with Ren!"

"I did everything for Beam!" I roar. Then I stop and sob. How I did everything for Beam, yet I still got dumped.

Mao round his hand on my shoulders.

After that I stop going to the bar.

I get through my days like a robot. I feel numb. I had trouble sleeping, I have no appetite. My grades are suffered. I don't have the guts to go back to our condo.

Yes, it was our condo. I bought the condo to live with Beam with my own money. When my grandfather passed away three years ago, he left me a lot of money. I invested the money well and now I am proud to say that even though my parents are rich, I can support my own life. I took some of that money and bought the condo. I told Beam it was a birthday present from my dad because I didn't want to make him freak out and thinking that I'm moving too fast by planning a future with him.

Now that he's gone, that place is no longer a home.

So, I go home to my parents' house. I don't care about my study anymore.

My parents are so worry to see me. They know how broken I was when Ren left me, but my broken heart last time is nowhere near my suffering right now.

"Forth, talk to me," said my mom softly. "What's going on with you?"

I shake my head.

"Was it Beam?"

I feel my eyes are filled with tears.

"Oh, my child." Mom wraps her arms around me.

"Beam broke up with me, Mom..." I said in despair.

Mom looks shocked. "You told me last time that you are really happy now with Beam. I asked you so many times to bring Beam here but you said the time is not right. What happened?"