Book Guide ✓

Chapter 10

I usually put a lot of dedication in my job. Today, however, I take the extra mile, since it could be the last day here. As I've already said before, I don't want this shop to close down. It's one of the few places (if not the only one) where I feel truly at home.

Things won't be the same without the books on the shelves creating a magical atmosphere, Holly's advice, Ashleigh's visits here and there, always bringing something special. I'm going to miss this place. That is, unless I find a way to save it.

I really hope I can find a solution.

***

As I walk on my way back home, someone stops me on my tracks. I turn back; to my surprise, it's Ashleigh. I wonder why she hasn't come to the library instead. I know, she doesn't necessarily need to pass by every single day, but, hey, I do like when she visits.

"Hi." She greets, pulling me out of my thoughts. "What's up? You seem quite down in the dumps." How can her smile make my heart flutter out of joy when I'm in such a messy situation, between Marietta's upcoming party and the shop's possible closure?

I decide that being open is the best thing and confess. "Sorry if I don't look like my usual self... It's that..." I hesitate, wondering if what I'm telling her will affect her. "It's that... The bookstore might close soon. Sales are plummeting lately, and competition is getting stronger." Sorrow fills my voice when I explain the current situation.

Ashleigh already knows that reading is my biggest passion, and that shop is the perfect place to find some new gems. Books are what managed to keep me sane these years. I can't just let such a special place like that close.

"Do you think you can help me?" I ask, more out of desperation than with a precise goal in mind. After all, she is a regular customer at the bookstore and seems to know that place quite well.

She replies with the same honesty I showed when telling her about the shop. "Listen, Cathy, I wish I had the solution straight away, but I need to think about it a little bit. After all, I was just a customer there." Her answer kind of disappoints me, even though I don't tell her directly.

I know, she doesn't have a magic wand, she can't fix all problems around me, so I shouldn't expect her to do the hard work blindly. At the same time, I just can't sit back and watch the bookstore sink with its unsold books. I feel the urge to do something to save it, and I wish Ashleigh would help me.

Why do things around her have to be so difficult?

I groan as she waves me goodbye, thinking that I'd better focus on Marietta's party for the time being.

***

"Cathy, you look miserable. Is everything okay?" As Mom asks this question, I'm tempted to yell no at her, but just don't. First of all, it'd get me scolded. Secondly, it doesn't help. Thirdly, it's just not fair to unleash all my frustration on Mom. She has no fault for what's happening lately.

She insists. "You know you can talk to me, right? You don't have to keep it all to yourself." I look away as she talks, but I immediately regret it. I can't hide anymore. I need to talk, but how? What if I tell her the truth and then she takes this a chance to say, 'I told you?'

No, no, she isn't the person to do that.

I sigh. "There's too much on my plate now. Marietta's party is tomorrow and I don't think I'll be able to enjoy myself with all the shit I'm facing, and-"

Mom corrects me straight away. "Mind your language, Cathy, please."

I scoff, annoyed at her latest remark. "Mom, I'm serious, I'm burning out! I'm stuck in a hole and I don't think I can get out of it that easily! Especially with the shop! I-" I'd like to cry, but I just can't. I'm trying not to look weak in front of Mom. I want to prove that, for once, I can handle tricky situations. Yet, this might be too much for me.

Mom asks, never losing her cool. "What's going on with the shop? Are sales so bad?" She understands the shop's dire situation, but it might take her some time to grasp the pressure I'm facing lately.

"Bad?" I laugh nervously. "The shop could close at any time! I don't want it to close down! It means-"

She cuts me off. "I know it means a lot of you, Cathy, but it's also bringing you a lot of pain and sufferance. I don't want to see you moping around because you couldn't save the place you called your second home, but at the same time I don't want to see you burnt out like this again." She's as torn as me. It looks like no-one can help me.

Before Mom can say anything else, I lock myself in my room, dejected and disappointed that I can't find a solution to my growing problems.

***

I can't sleep. I can't think of having some good, well-deserved rest with all my burdens taking over my mind. The only thing I can do to keep it occupied is to read. I need something light hearted, something that makes me flutter and at the same time escape from the darkness of reality.

Before I even realize, I pick not one, but five romance novels. I know, I still have a lot of open wounds from my latest encounter with Ashleigh, but, yeah, a girl deserves to dream every once in a while...

***

"Good morning, Cathy... I- You-" Mom is shocked that I haven't slept at all last night. Time has really flown away. The thing that amazes me the most about reading is that, by the time you engage with it, you can't just stop. The stories told in every single volume capture me and suck me into amazing new worlds, where anything can happen.

So, what makes reality different? Why can't everything be beautiful and easy like in books? The answer might look simple, but it's actually a lot more complex to describe and to elaborate. I guess the only way to find out is to live my life as it is.

After all, the best people I've met in my life so far are real. They don't live in books.

***

Even though I'm supposed to get ready for Marietta's party later on and, as a result, go to the mall to find a new outfit, I head to the bookstore again. Mr. Rickett granted me an off day for the event, but I want to pass by. Those books on the shelves deserve better. The shop itself deserves better.

By the time I come in, I only find Holly to greet me. Her shock in seeing me is visible through her face, which turns red as soon as I wave her hello. "Cathy... What a surprise! I didn't expect you to come in," she says. "You're not supposed to be here today."

"I'm here as a customer today." My words come automatic, as if I were programmed to say so. I shouldn't spend my budget on books, but can't help it. I want more. A nice dress can wait one more hour.

My trip around shelves ends with me buying six new books, a grin on my face and one burden lifted from my mind. Now, it's time to face the rest.