Children Series (Harry Styles) // Book 5

5. The Most Important (Harry's POV)

I was supposed to be spending the day with the lads, but with everything that happened, I cancelled. So I was surprised when they all turned up at my door at 9am. Before they started with their usual antics I stopped them.

"The kids are sleeping, please be quiet. I just got Mason back down," they all nodded and made their way into the living room. Louis instantly picking Mason up out of his rocker.

"Where's Y/N?" Zayn asked and thats when I let it go. I let myself cry. And I couldn't stop my tears if I tried. The love of my life is going through probably the hardest time in her life right now, and I let her leave. I let her leave, and I can't explain why," Zayn looked over at me guiltily, not meaning to touch a nerve. Who would think they were going to anyway? She's my wife...

"She was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression yesterday so she thinks the best thing is to go stay with her parents for a few weeks until she's better," I said quietly.

"And you let her leave?" Niall said, not believing any of it. I nodded ashamed that I let me wife walk out of the door of our home.

"Hi Daddy," Emilia whispered tiredly as she walked into the living room.

"Hi Sweetpea, how was your sleep?" I asked and she climbed into my lap.

"It was good, can we go to the park today? Just me, you and Mason?" The fact that she left Y/N out of that equation made me feel angry at the 3 year old in my lap, but also sympathetic towards her.

"Mama went to Grandma Y/M/N & Grandpa Y/D/N anyway for a few days. Why don't you go play in your toy room while I talk to your uncles for a bit," she nodded and stalked into the toy room.

"What happened?" Liam asked and I assumed that Sophia would have told him.

"Yesterday Y/N snapped at Emilia, now Emilia doesn't want to talk to Y/N and Y/N thinks Emilia hates her. She apologised to her and everything but Emilia won't budge. She's stuck on this and I don't know what to do. I can't force my daughter to talk to her. But at the same time I want to because Y/N's tried and she's apologized. I just feel like Emilia is old before her time you know? Other three year olds would forget about it and move on. But Emilia's not," I rubbed my face and Niall slapped my back.

"Give it a few days, she'll be running back to Y/N. But you know this arrangement isn't helping with Y/N's condition," I nodded.

********

The door bell rang an hour or so later. I opened it expecting it to be Y/N but it wasn't, it was her mum.

"Hi Harry, Y/N wanted me to drop this off. She doesn't want the kids to see her the way she is. How are you holding up?" She asked me and I shrugged.

"GRAMMA!" Emilia squealed and Y/M/N picked up the running child.

"Hello Meels, how are you?" 

"I'm good Gramma," Y/M/N smiled.

"That's good baby, well I need to go, get back to my own baby, but I'll see you all soon ok?" I nodded and gave her a small hug.

"Everything will work out, have a chat with Emilia," I nodded once again and she left, leaving me with the bottle bag. 

I closed the door and walked into the kitchen with the bottle bag and started to take the bottles out and put them in the fridge. I noticed there was a yellow envelope in the bottom of the bag and when I took it out, I seen Harry xx inscribed on it in Y/N's handwriting.

I took the letter out of the envelope, sat at the dining room table and started to read.

Harry, 

God I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's because I can't imagine not having you in my life and I wanted you to know that I love you so much. I also want you to tell the kids that I love them too. You all mean so much to me, which is why I had to leave. I was no fun for our kids to be around, and I hope you understand that. 

Maybe when Emilia or Mason are feeling sad or scared, you could wrap them in one of my t-shirts and tell them that their Mama misses them terribly. I also want you to tell Emilia how sorry I am, I know she's stubborn, and I know that it may take a while, but I'm hoping that she'll forgive me. Maybe if I just put a little paragraph in here you could read it to her.

Hi baby girl, I'm missing you lots and lots, but Gramma Y/M/N's taking care of me, kind of like I did with you when you had a stuffy nose. I'm feeling a little better already, and when I'm all finished my medicine, and feeling better, I'll be back home. I want to talk to you more than anything right now, but I know you don't want to talk to me, and that's ok baby. Maybe when I come home we can have lots of cuddles and watch your favorite show? I hope you're looking after your Daddy and Mason now since I'm gone and you're the little woman of the house. I love you, my darling. I'm so, so terribly sorry for everything I said to you. Remember, those fairies gave me extra love for Mason and all the love I had for you before, is still there now, and it's never, ever left, and it never, ever will. From, Your Mama xx

And maybe you could just tell Mason that his Mama loves him. He won't understand anything if I write a paragraph for him, and maybe sing him a little bit of What A Wonderful World to him from me. And lots of kisses to both of them from me. Maybe you could sing Isn't She Lovely to Emilia too, because I know you know that one. 

I want to tell you that I'm sorry too. I didn't mean for any of this too happen, and it's all my fault. But I hope you still love me as much as you did when we said 'I Do' because I love you even more. I love you more and more every single day. And you don't have to sing to yourself, but maybe tonight when you're trying to sleep, or when the kids are down for a nap, you could break out my old Shania Twain CD and listen to it or or you can imagine me singing it, whichever you would rather, but listen to You're Still The One, because you are Harry. And you always will be.

Hopefully I'll be home soon. The medication has improved me a little already, so maybe I'll see you all sooner rather than later hopefully. If you'll all have me.

I love you all so much.

Y/N, your wife who's sorry for everything xxx

Tears were pouring down my face as I finished the letter and Emilia climbed onto my lap. I pulled her onto my lap and done exactly as Y/N wanted me to.

"So I have something here from Mama," Emilia nodded and I read her what Y/N had wrote in her letter, and I read it word for word. "She also wanted me to, uhm," I cleared my throat.

"Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful? Isn't she precious? Less than one minute old. I never thought through love we'd be making one, as lovely as she. But isn't she lovely made from love? Isn't she pretty? Truly the Angel's best. Boy, I'm so happy, we have been Heaven blessed. I can't believe what God has done. Through us He's given life to one. But isn't she lovely made from love?" I couldn't manage to sing the last verse as I noticed a tear leak from Emilia's eye.

"Hey Snuggles, what's wrong?" I asked her her bottom lip started to shake.

"I miss Mama," she said and the flood gates opened. I cradled her to my chest and held her tightly.

"How about we go get Mason into his car seat and go bring Mama home? How does that sound?" She nodded.

"I'm so sorry Mama," she whispered, still crying, into my chest and I kissed her forehead. There was two things I hated in this world. 

1) Not having my wife living with us.

2) Seeing any of my family cry.