The shoe exchange

Alex

It's been a couple of weeks since we've gotten Charles moved into my old apartment. We changed everything over to his name and paid all of his bills up for a little while. We also went to the bank and started an account for him. He should be good for a couple of years, plus he's getting paid pretty decent with his new job title.

You could physically see the weight being lifted off of him. The worries and the stress he's been carrying around for so long are now a little less heavy. I have to admit I'm glad I was a part of making that happen for him.

I felt the same thing after I signed it all over to him. The memories from that apartment no longer holding me back. I'm trying to learn to let go of what happened and get back who I was before Kate destroyed me. Little by very little I'm mending back those broken pieces of my life and I'm not necessarily doing it by myself.

"Knock knock" hearing my mother's voice and quiet knock on my office door has me coming back to the present.

"Hey, mom."

"Busy?"

"No, not really." I am, sort of, but I'd never tell her that.

"Well, your father would like to talk to you this week. So, we're going to have dinner on Sunday, but it'll just be the three of us." She smiles at me and I give her a small smile, the only one I can manage to give her right now.

Things with my father have been strange to say the least. He's been very distant, I like that he hasn't been fighting with me, but he is my dad. I don't know what's worst, him basically calling me replaceable every chance he gets or being ignored by him.

"Okay, I'll be there." I tell her. I pack up my papers and everything I need to take home with me. I can't focus right now and I only have ten minutes left before I leave work. "Love you, mom."

"I love you, Alex. I know things haven't been easy for you, son. Sometimes, we need to get outside of our comfort zones so we learn to grow. You never know what kind of environment you can prevail in if you always stick to what you're use to. The shoes you wear help take you to where you're going, but the steps you make, you choose that path. Make sure you choose a good one." She gives me a tight hug and walks out of my office.

I take in all of her words instead of just brushing them off, like I normally would here lately. I really am trying to be better. Jacob, was right, I don't need to be like the old me, the one before Kate. I need to be better than the old me. I'm afraid if I'm not, I won't be the only one that doesn't like me.

Jacob and Cade are gone to the store with Charles. They'll pick me up later at my place to go over to Charles' apartment tonight. I really don't want to go over there, but he wants to have a dinner and cook for us as a way to say thank you. Even though he already has multiple times.

He's been working steady for Roil enterprises now for a little over a week. He says he enjoys the job and he gets along with everyone he meets. When I talked to my mom about the position, she just kind of smirked, patted my shoulder, and said "there's my boy."

I made that job up for a lot of reasons, but my main one was, Gabriella. She adores Charles, and to be honest, I'm a bit jealous. I want to be adored by her, I want her to want to adore me. He's like a father figure to her, but I've been nothing but a pain in her ass. I want to fix that, I want to fix a lot of things.

I'll never be a perfect man and I think everyone in my life knows that. If they're  expecting flawless from me, than they'll be highly disappointed. I'm already damaged and have done damage to others. Correcting my mistakes and apologizing for my choices, feels like a step in the right direction to me.