Tags: lovesick, texts, emotional (kind of), friends with benefits
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To Jennie: it's been a while since we hung out
To Jennie: come over
Jennie stares at the words for five seconds, feeling her nerves raging in her stomach, almost hitting the lame like button before swiftly withdrawing her shaky fingers from the screen. She sighs.
To Lisa: I can't,,,Got an assignment due
That ought to stop her. All Jennie knows is she can't see Lisa right now. She's made a thorough, well-rehearsed promise to herself about that and she has no intention of breaking it although she finds herself wavering everytime Lisa bites her plump, perfectly pink lower lip while reading something she hasn't really grasped yet from the textbook, or when she's all sweaty and panting from volleyball practice, or when her eyes meet Jennie's in a gaze met halfway and really—just honestly whenever Lisa's around her. She has to stop.
Her phone pings and her heart stutters much like anytime she knows Lisa is the one texting and she follows the words displaying on her screen. No way.
To Jennie: i'm bored.
I'm bored. I'm bored.
Fuck.
She finds herself wavering again. Her phone's backside covers in sweat from her heating palms and she pinches the bridge of her nose, breathing deeply through all the emotions she's feeling right now. They've been here before, she thinks, almost bitterly. She can't stop it—her erratic pulse—the memories flooding in her sleep-deprived poor mind, manifesting in a false replication, almost like a hallucination of how Lisa smells... How she tastes—God, she can't stop falling—She can't stop any of it.
And soon she finds that she can't stop herself. Soon, she's throwing her now worn out jacket over her shoulders for the snow outside (although her body's going extremely warm) and fiddling with her flat's main door lock with shaky hands. She's pacing through the comparatively calmer evening street, eyeing street numbers on boards, losing control of her rapid breathing that actualizes in a foggy smoke out of her mouth when it comes in contact with the chill air of winter. She's forgotten her gloves, she realizes when she nervously presses on the yellow yet glazed plastic switch of Lisa's apartment's doorbell, but figures she doesn't need it.
"Jennie." Lisa says, a tinge of delight in her voice, almost unnoticeable if Jennie hadn't been her friend for so long.
Friend, Jennie almost wants to burst out laughing.
What's the point?, she thinks dizzily. She's so, so into Lisa at this point, she figures it might be best to just give her what she wants and have whatever she can get. At least Lisa will be hers somehow. Maybe not the way she wants, exactly, but somehow.
"I'm miserable." Jennie slips up and surges forward, capturing heavenly lips with her own.
Oh God. Please, she thinks with emotion, not sure what she's even asking for right now.
All she can think of is how beautiful Lisa is. And how much she wants her. She moves her head back and looks into her favourite eyes, hazel and dark with desire. All she can think of is how much... She loves Lisa. Oh lord.
The door slams shut and bodies press up tightly against each other, Lisa almost ripping off Jennie's jacket from earlier off of the petite girl. Jennie's hands travel down Lisa's sides, feeling every inch of the latter in hopes of etching it all into her hyperactive mind. She doesn't want to forget. She doesn't think she could ever forget.
Her back hits Lisa's twin bed in no time and her clothes are being taken off just as fast. It's nothing new. Yet it's so exhilarating... no... Overwhelming, actually, that she's unable to hide any of it. Her shaky hands and her inconsistent shallow breaths and... Herself. Maybe Lisa thinks it's a fleeting passion, but Jennie knows better.
It's in the way Lisa caresses and marks her skin—in the way she calls Jennie's name in a hoarse tone that almost makes Jennie fall in love with it—in the way she's the only thing Lisa's looking at in these short-lived moments they have together, behind four walls that muffle every blissful sigh of relief and every quiet gasp of impulse. Jennie's in love with Lisa, and it's a recurring thought in her fast-paced mind until they're both gasping for breath and lying next to each others' weary bodies. And she still finds herself thinking it again when she gazes wondrously at Lisa's dazed look pointing towards the ceiling.
Maybe Lisa feels it too, Jennie thinks. Lisa doesn't know, but at least she feels the aftermath of Jennie making love to her.
When their breaths even out, Jennie reaches out for her beloved again. She'll never be able to call Lisa that out loud, of course not. But she makes it a point to kiss every lovely thought she has of this beautiful girl onto her skin and they're soon going at the whole thing all over again.
A/N: Didn't come out like I expected but at least it has a decent word count? 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ
