måneskin; imagines

crush [v.a]

i was never the person to admit anything. not a crush on someone, not something i did, somebody's secret i've been told. nothing, none of that.
i'd always keep my mouth shut, unless i had to speak on it.

tonight was no exception. victoria was coming over and i honestly couldn't be happier. not seeing one of your closest friends for over a month and a half really plays with your head, you know?

if i was smart enough, i would admit i have a crush on that woman. i would admit how my heart stops beating for a couple of seconds when she's near me or when she laughs at something stupid i said.
i'd admit how in love with her i am. if only i wasn't a coward.

thomas saw right through me though and told me many times to shoot my shot, but shooting my shot as a newly announced, out of the closet, bisexual isn't really easy.

not to say victoria wasn't happy when i told her, she was over the moon for me and i could see how genuine she was with it as well. knowing she loved me all the same after coming out to her really made me realise that i'm in deep shit. that i love a woman i have no chance with. i'm in love with a woman that sees me only as a friend, when i see her as my whole world. maybe even more.

before i could think one more thought, the doorbell rings. i get the door open and smile widely at victoria's pretty face.

she's not wearing any makeup. i mean, she doesn't wear makeup often, but it still surprises me how absolutely naturally beautiful she is.

"aaa, y/n!" she squeals as she embraces me in a tight hug, my hands around her waist while hers wrapped around my neck.

"vic, oh my god, it's so good to see you." taking in the scent of her hair, i giggle.

we pull out of the hug and smile at each other. oh, how i've missed her smile. the smile she's currently smiling just for me.

"well, come in! let's not waste any time," i let her in and close the door behind her, "make yourself at home."

"wooow, how can a place change so much in span of a month?" she questions as she looks around my hall, more paintings hanging on the walls than the last time she's been here.

"yeah. i've honestly just been bored without you here so i painted," i say

"more than usual." i finish.

"i see," she turns around to look at all of them, "they're very beautiful."

"thank you." i smile.

this is another thing i love about her: she is always interested in the stuff her loved ones are interested in. even if she maybe can't do it herself, she's so involved in it. and i know that because currently she's looking at every piece of art hanging from that wall. very carefully. and full of life while doing it.

"ooh, she's gorgeous." she points at an art of a blonde woman.

it's her. it's literally an abstract painting of victoria that i made one day in this horrible month of not seeing her.

well, you can't tell that it's exactly her because it is abstract, but in my heart, i see vic clearly.

"who's she?" she asks, not taking her eyes off the woman... which is herself.