The Girl With the Cross

Chapter 12: Sarah

  Tonight is the night-- my first date. He won't tell me where we're going, so he's picking me up at 5:30. I spend about an hour getting ready, which I rarely do, and it makes me feel like a princess; I put on a cute, navy blue dress that stops just above my knees. I wear a bit of mascara, a touch of lipgloss, and a pat or two of blush.

  I like Tyler a lot, but this whole thing is killing me inside. I can't love him and not be able to have him completely: it's like I'm a little kid in the toy section of Walmart, begging for a toy even after my parents say no. Yes, they are letting all of this happen but I know that it doesn't make Dad happy which puts a weight in my stomach every time I think about Tyler.
   I laugh when I find him banging on the door right at 5:30-- just like he said he would. I give my dad a peck on the cheek as I swiftly make my way to the door, and promise him I won't stay out any later than 10:00, and that we won't do anything else other than take a walk and eat. Which means no kissing, but I wouldn't, anyways: I don't even know him that well.

  I don't remember getting into his car, but before I know it he's closing the passenger's seat car door, and soft music that I don't recognize is playing. I stay quiet when he pulls out of the driveway, and strangely so does he: he's never been one to keep his mouth closed. I thought he would never shut up, but apparently that ended when I said I would go out with him.

   Suddenly, we're at a restaurant called "Heaven's Delight", and frankly I'm just glad to be out of that car. He opens my door, so I take his hand for just a moment and we walk down the sidewalk to the entrance. He's being so . . . what's the word, mature? I've never seen this side of him, and I don't know if I like it all that much. A woman calls us over to a table with a red candle in the middle.

  "Hello! I'm Annisa and I'll be your waitress today. How can I help you?" She asks, beaming with joy. I quickly reply before he can say anything.

  "We would love some drinks." I say. After she asks us what we want, Tyler replies.

  "Well, I think I speak for both of us when I say we want Diet Dr.Pepper's, am I correct?" He asks, looking at me for confirmation. I nod, smiling. How did he know my favorite drink? Annisa nods, writing, and walks away briskly.

  Finally some alone time to talk. I don't hear him trying to say anything, so I try to break the ice.

  "So, how are your parents? Are they okay with your new choice for Sundays? Or were they drunk when you told them?" I ask.

  "No, he was fine with it. He never really cares . . ." Wait, who is he?

  "I thought you had two parents?" I say those last words with a bit of hiding sympathy.

  Before he can respond, Annisa comes back out with our drinks.

  "Here ya go! What can I get you two lovebirds tonight? I hear the lobster bisque is pretty good. What is it that you want?" she asks, elated.

  "I guess I'll try the lobster please." I say, handing her my menu.

  "And I'll have the steak and potatoes." He says, also surrendering his menu.

  "You got it!" She says, writing rapidly and walking away once again.

  "Okay, tell me. What happened to your mom?" I ask, softness in my voice. He looks away.

  "She died of cancer when I was twelve. I try to say I have two parents to keep from bringing her up." He says, sorrowful. He won't meet my gaze now. I feel a pang of guilt for asking him. This date just escalated.

  "I'm so sorry Tyler. That must've been so hard." I say, sympathetic and quiet.

  "It was. It's when my dad went downhill. I never see him anymore. He's always passed out in his room or drinking until he does. The only time he talks to me is when he's drunk." He says, a tear forming at the very bottom of his left eyelid. He instantly wipes it before it can fall.

  "Tyler . . ." I feel awful.

  "My mother was so sweet and she was a Christian, like you. And she had blonde hair and blue eyes, like me. I once believed in the Lord, Sarah. But once my mom got cancer, I lost a lot of my hope in Him. I was just thinking, why would God do that if he was real? What kind of being would let my mom die when I'm not even grown up yet?" He says, staring off into space as if he's re-living the flashback: of pain, of anger.

  "Tyler . . ." I start again. I don't want to hear this horrible news if it makes him upset, but he still continues.

  "She died right in front of me Sarah. We were eating dinner together, at our favorite pizza place. Then she just said it was time, and we left for the hospital. I cried for hours, days, weeks, months after she died. She was my world. It was horrible. I couldn't believe the Lord was real, because if He was, He wouldn't have done that to her-- to me-- but He did. And I never forgave him after that. My dad attempted to forget her by making himself so drunk every night that he didn't even recognize me. He forgot how to raise a child or how to even watch over himself. It was agonizing. But then," He sighs, "I grew tough. I got different friends, started hurting girls' hearts like God hurt mine, and that was it. I changed." He says, coldly. I can't bear this anymore.

  "Well, I'm here now. I think God sent me to help heal your broken heart, and I want to do that." I say, smiling softly. I reach over the table and wipe the tear from his face.

  "I think I love you, Sarah. I mean it. I will never hurt you like I did the other girls because you deserve everything. I hope you know that" He says. His eyes captivate me.

  "I love you, too." I say, smiling sweetly. It's time God and I change him for the better.