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Wednesday, January 28, 2006

I stared at Sam for a minute or two before I felt myself tearing up. I don't know why I started to cry, but I did. Sam was in clear panic as the boys all turned around from the table to see me crying. Jared and Paul laughed at Sam as Embry seemed to panic as well. They could all hear my thoughts but I'm sure they were a jumbled mess that couldn't be organized.

"Wait, no, don't cry!" Sam tried wipe my cheeks dry and I tried to keep my snot from running out of my nose.

"I'm not crying, you're crying." I rubbed my eyes as I tried to humour my way out of my embarrassment.

I continued to rub my eyes as I slowly calmed down. Even when my crying slowed down into only the rare tear, Sam continued to panic. Emily kept telling Sam that I was fine and he needed to calm down as well.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy." Sam visibly calmed down and his shoulders dropped from their stuff position.

"I just, I wish you would've told me sooner, I would've had my bags packed." Emily laughed as she hugged me to her chest.

"By no means are we trying to replace your parents, unless you decide that's what you want." Emily pushed my curls back as she kissed my forehead.

Emily backed up allowing room for Sam to sweep me up into one of his bear hugs. Despite being known to be tough and strict, Sam's extremely caring and loving towards his friends and family. Jared, Paul, and Embry cheered as Sam placed me down. After a round of congratulations, we all sat down to eat. I got back to my homework as I ate away at the blueberry muffin Emily and I made earlier.

Even though I didn't want to leave I knew I had to go back to Billy's so I could pack up and eventually say goodbye to Jacob and Billy. I never thought I'd be leaving, even if it was only a minutes walk away. I didn't know Jacob would react and I was afraid to leave Billy alone. It's been four years since I moved in with the Black family and I've always thought of them as family. But leaving to live a short walk away was better than me being put into the Foster system.

As I walked into the red house Jacob and Billy were at the kitchen table. It was clear by the red streaks on Jacob's face and Billy's frown, that the situation was already explained to Jacob. He didn't seem infuriated, but was still probably a little angry. I didn't say anything as I hugged Jacob. It would take me awhile to get used to not seeing Jacob every morning when he'd barge into my room to wake me up with his horrible imitating of a trumpet.

Or Billy's daily teasing when I'd walk into the kitchen every morning with a frown and a rats nest for hair. I'd eventually get used to the absence of both, but I'd never stop missing it. Jacob offered to help me pack up and we said nothing as we filled my boxes with non necessities and labeled them. It was fast work but we were clearly milking the process. Apparently the adoption process has been going on for 6 months already and Billy was involved the entire time.

Sam and Emily had to go through something called homestudy and adoption training before they could take any further steps. Just last week they were labeled 'Adopt ready' meaning once the papers were signed, I'd officially be in the care of Emily and Sam. It felt weird since I was never informed or even in the foster system. The only reason for any of this to be possible was thanks to Billy's help. My dad never provided child support and didn't give Billy any of my identification.

On top of that, it's been 3 years since I had any contact with my dad, the bike apparently doesn't count since there's no proof he supplied it, which by the law means he abandoned me. In a week I'd be in a court room for an Adoption Hearing that apparently wouldn't last any longer than 10 minutes.

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