There's truly nothing like starting your day by waking up at 4 am to your dog some how escaping his cage, shitting in your room, disappearing, and your boyfriend freaking out about the whole situation. We must have not latched the cage completely because unless he's developed opposable thumbs, there's no other way he could get out. We looked around the entire house, wondering where he could be, when we should have known his location already: he was in his favorite spot, under our bed.
I also woke up from having nightmares about my partner being unfaithful, something I fear I will struggle with and endure for the rest of my life.
Work consisted again of a 7 hour zoom training where I learned hardly anything, other than about the wealth of information I can find from a victim's interview which is something I taught myself while I was supposed to be looking at a PowerPoint.
I debated on doing tomorrow's training from home, but have stressed so much about the very small possibility I would get in trouble for doing so that I've made up my mind to go into the office instead. No one hardly ever knows another worker's true location (maybe a vague idea of it), yet I worry someone will question my whereabouts and punish me for not sitting in my dimly lit office on Zoom.
When I got off from work, we had a get together at our house, something I should have really enjoyed and been happy about, yet I'm left feeling incredibly frustrated over. Money is tight, and with only truly doing this "living completely on my own paycheck" thing for a month, I'm not completely sure how tight it truly is. Especially considering I haven't gotten my own car insurance yet, which is something I must do and know will be expensive due to my age.
Everything about living on my own causes me to be anxious. Using too much electricity, wasting air conditioning, going through too much water, running out of paper plates, others drinking our sodas, and the list goes on and on. Isaiah probably thinks I'm just being an asshole, pointing out the money involved in everything and trying to conserve where we can, when that's the last thing I'm trying to be. I can't stop the anxiety from speaking and I also can't stop it from entering my brain.
I don't know how to make the situation better or how to make him understand, and that's what makes dealing with this anxiety 10 x harder.
Hopefully an answer will come to me soon, because I am desperate for a solution to this problem.
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September's Story
Non-FictionI was in an 8 year long relationship, living in Virginia, and working at Ulta when my life became something I never envisioned for myself. Now, I'm in a new relationship, living in Kansas, and working as a social worker. While I'll tell stories ab...
