Barbaric

Chapter Ten

I couldn't fall asleep that night. I wasn't sure why...it just seemed that seep was deliberately avoiding me. Which made no sense, considering I only ever got four hours at a time, if even that. Not to mention, I had been out and about all day today, and considering I was usually an introvert and kept to myself, I should be tired and wore out by all the social interacting I did.

But alas, sleep just didn't want to come to me, and instead, I found myself lazily sitting in a hot, steaming bath, my eyes transfixed on the brown, wooden ceiling above me. The water was probably hot enough to boil any normal person, however, I felt no sting of pain as I sighed and lowered myself further into the tub, the water just about coming up to my nose. Gods, I wasn't used to being out so much, let alone being surrounded by so many people. Most of my time I spent hiding away in my study, or even hanging around in Asurah's palace on Glacida.

Of course, as soon as my mind went to that small, frozen planet, I began thinking about Jox, wondering what he was doing right about now. Was he sleeping? No...probably not. It was likely morning on Glacida right now. What was he doing, then? Fixing something up, perhaps? Or, as cliché as it sounds...was he thinking about me?

I dragged a wet hand down my face before pulling my fingers through my hair, nibbling at my bottom lip. Gods, he must think I'm a jerk, or something. I mean, I hadn't answered a single call of his and didn't have the courage to call him back. I'd probably disappoint him, anyway, when he heard that I was going through with the marriage. Gods, what if he thought I didn't like him anymore? I would hate myself if he felt that way, because let's face it...he was the only one, besides Asurah, who made me feel this way. He was on my mind on most days, his smile, his voice...and I already knew damn well he infiltrated my dreams. Dreams that were...quite intimate, embarrassingly enough, and often had me waking up stiff and warm.

I felt my cheeks begin burning as I grabbed a bottle of scented oils, pouring some in my hand before I began lathering it into my hair.

Did he ever think of me in such an intimate way? Tangled in a way that would make even the most talented lover blush? Did he dream about me as I did him?

Gods, I really needed to call him and make sure he knew that I wasn't avoiding him. Maybe I should just tell him about Emylle. Surely, he would understand that I needed to keep my people safe, right? I should probably tell him about Elphes' threat as well...no, no, I couldn't do that. If I told him, he would probably turn around and tell Asurah, and Asurah would probably get involved, and I didn't want that to happen. He needed time to himself after what happened with Vextian. Maybe...maybe I could ask Jox not to tell anyone. Maybe if I pleaded with him and explained why I didn't want Asurah to know...he would listen to me.

I took a deep inhale and submerged myself under the water, shaking my hands in my hair to wash out the oil before I pulled my head back out, my hair spilling in my eyes. I took a moment to wipe my hair back before I scrubbed my body and got out of the tub, the water dripping off my body and splashing against the tiled floor.

Hell, what would someone do if they were in my position? Tell the person they cared about? Or keep it secret to avoid hurting them?

I grabbed a plush towel and wrapped it around my body, before I grabbed a second one to dry my hair. Gods, this was going to drive me absolutely insane if I kept going back and forth on my decisions. Maybe I needed to distract myself, do something that would take my mind off of this precarious situation. Should I read a book? No...no, I wasn't much of a reader. Busy myself with more paperwork, because I had no hobbies?

Sounded about right.

So, with that thought in mind, I quickly threw on a pair of loose, brown harem pants, opting out of a shirt before I made my way to the study and flicked on the light, grimacing at the amount of paperwork on my desk. Yeah, this will definitely distract me. Or, well, I hoped it did, at least. I was probably driving myself to an early grave, thanks to that bastard Elphes. If he had just respected my decision to not marry his daughter, I wouldn't be caught in the middle of this crap. Because of him, my newfound and developing relationship with Jox very well could be on the line. Especially if Jox didn't take my decision to marry Emylle in a good way.

Ok, that was enough of that. It was time to distract myself with a bunch of pointless work.

I probably spent a good five hours signing things and making changes, and I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I heard a knock on my study door, startling me awake. My head shot up off of my desk, a few pieces of paper sticking onto my face before I pulled them off and cleared my throat. "Enter."

The door opened and my servant peeked his head in, his light amber gaze finding me. "Sorry for the intrusion, your Highness, but there is someone waiting for you in the Throne Room."

My brows furrowed together, curiosity and dread raising within me. Who was it? Was it Elphes? Had he come back to remind me yet again what would happen if I didn't go through with the marriage? Was it someone else, perhaps? Well, I guess I had to go find out, and already, I could feel my chest growing tight with anxiety, my palms growing sweaty as I stood up and followed my servant, my breaths quickened with nerves.

By the time I reached the Throne Room, my mind was already fearing for the worst, yet, as soon as I saw the familiar pale form of Jox...embarrassingly enough, I almost tripped on my feet, nearly dropping to the floor had my servant's quick reflexes not caught me in time.

He looked so enchanting standing there amongst warm browns and beiges, his white skin and overall paleness standing out from the colors around him. And as soon as those gorgeous, light blue eyes found me, a small, hesitant smile formed on his thin, pink lips.

"Hi." He muttered, fiddling with the strap of his pack as he shifted his weight.

I felt like...what was the term Joseph sometimes used? A deer caught in headlights. What the hell was he doing here? Did he somehow find out about Emylle and I, and decided to come here and see for himself? Was he here because I hadn't been answering his calls? Had he been worried about me?

Yet despite all of the questions and worries floating around in my mind, all I could do was mutter a 'hello' in return, nearly grimacing at how lame that sounded. I shook my head and cleared my throat, taking a few steps closer to him as I began nibbling at the inside of my cheek. "I'm...surprised to see you here. I-I hope I didn't worry you, or anything, when I missed your calls. I was a bit...caught up in work and I just haven't had time to chat."

Jox waved his hand and gave me an awkward smile, tilting his head to the side. "It's fine, I guess. I understand, I mean, that whole mission to rescue Asurah stole you away from important work...sorry if I seemed annoying with calling you a-as much as I did. I was just...I wanted to make sure you were ok, and stuff."

I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck. "No, I-I should have called you back when I found time to myself, if only to let you know I was fine. I apologize if I worried you enough to bring you all the way here."

Jox's awkward smile shifted into something more genuine, those cerulean blue eyes now sparkling as he cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm here to ask for some help. Though, it's kind of a lot to explain, so if we can continue this where there are chairs...I'd appreciate that."

I immediately nodded my head, nibbling at my bottom lip as I waved for him to follow me, the dread of him running into Emylle flashing through my mind as I led him into my study, the man in question staring at me for a moment before he took his seat and pulled out his tablet. He then went full force in explaining why he came here, though...I noticed I was staring at his lips as he talked, his words barely registering in my mind as I recalled how soft they were, despite being so thin.

And as he continued, the dread in me only grew as time went on.

A/N: Oooooohhhh snappppppppp