Too Small To Think | Tommyinnit Angst | Agere Fic

Pt 6. Sorry Chat.

(Picture is my art, did it on paper then edited it alot on digital)

I had went to the beach with Eryn and Freddie, I didn't wear my bandages when we got in the water, they didn't question the scratches on my hands, I'm just glad I didn't get too injured when I punched my wall, could of broke my hand, though there was a quite a lot of blood, well actually, i think I was just overreacting, there was only a bit of blood, as if I fell and scrapped my fist on concrete.
Anyways, we then sat in the sand with the others, we talked nonsense, stuff about  school, stuff about streaming. Freddie then bringing up the topic of MCC, wait, when was MCC?
I started blabbing on about how I forgot MCC was in 4 days, I was so excited about it a couple days ago but forgot all about it when I remembered the trip.

When I got home I started streaming, well after Wil ended stream of course.

The stream didn't go to good, It was, hard, overwhelming a bit,
it was supposed to me calming...

I had ended a bit eruptly, then deleting the vod right away,
everyone was yelling at me in the chat,
I wasn't-
I didn't mean to upset anyone, I was just trying to be open to everyone.

I hadn't noticed my heavy breathing or that I was still in call with Phil.
I stared blankly at my computer screen.

"Tommy?"

I jumped at the sudden voice, I wasn't able to process who said that or where it came from.
I didn't respond.

I heard the voice again but I couldn't really process it, just mumbles.

I looked down at my hands, then back at the computer.

Am I a bad person?

Do my friends think I'm a bad person now?
I promise I'm not, I just, I don't know, I was just trying to-
What was I trying to do?
I'm so stupid.

I have the urge to punch my screen, I didn't want to, but, i just needed to feel, I lifted up my right hand in a fist, instead punching my desk...

I then heard a bang and my name again, but it was a different voice.

"Tommy?!"
"What was that?"
"Are you-"
There was 2 voices now?
Who was that?
My parents?
No, I don't see them anywhere, wait who are my parents?
No.
Tommy stop,
Your okay, your in your room, your parents are downstairs, your in a call with Philza and Wilbur.

Wait? What?

I was trying so hard to ground myself, but everything was too confusing.

All I knew was that I'm in my room while in a call with Philza and Wilbur, and my parents are downstairs.

But that didn't make sense, Wilbur and Phil are my parents, so why am in a call with them while they're down stairs?
Wait, no.
Wilburs my brother, not my dad, Phil's my dad.

I need to stop thinking, I'm gonna embarrass myself infront of Wilbur and Phil, I need to leave call, I can't be doing this in call.

I looked at my fist again,
Huh?
I- did I? What did I do?
Oh. I just punched my desk.

I didn't punch hard enough to break anything, it would probably just leave a bruise on my hand.

I then heard a noise behind me, I didn't bother to look.
I then felt a hand touch my shoulder and I flinched, turned towards whoever touched me.

"Oh Tommy..." said the person infront on me.

Who is this? It's not one of my parents, or is it?

I just stared blankly at the lady infront of me.

She placed a hand on my face,
yeah this is my mom.

Wait that doesn't make sense, since Phil is my Dad.

Then who is this?
Do I know this person.

She wiped my tears, when did I start crying?

I tried to speak, it came out shaky and whispered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi Tom's" the lady said.

Then grabbing my hand.

"What did you do?" She said looking at the forming bruise, then at my desk seeing nothing broken.

I just stare at her, no longer responding, I tune back into the other voices.
I'm still a bit confused on where there voices are coming from.

"Is that his mom?" One of the voices say.

"Yeah, I think so, do you think he can hear us?" Says another voice.

"I don't know, let me try again, Tommy? You there bud?" Said the voice that I now recognized as Wilbur.

I looked back to the woman, she was still looking at my hand.
She then put pressure on the forming bruise.
I pulled my hand back away from her.

That was mean, why did she do that? It hurt.

She says something but it all sounded muffled.

She then grabbed my wrists and I tried to pull back but I couldn't.

"Thomas, breathe."

Thomas?
Oh yeah that's me.
Tommy, Thomas, Tom.

After a bit, I started calming down. I could process that I was in a call with Phil and Will, oh my god, this is embarrassing.

I looked at the woman infront of me again.

"Mom?" I say.

"Yes Tom's, it's me." She says.

"Oh." I say.

"Can I- I'm in a call, can I just-" I say, my mom then interrupting me.

"Yes Tom's, I'm gonna go get some more medicine for your hand. Gosh, you need to stop getting yourself hurt." She says then leaving my room.

"Hey, sorry, Da-"
No Tom's, he's not your dad.
"Phil, Wilbur, I just got a bit overwhelmed, ya know, panic attack." I say, that wasn't full what it was, more like a derealization episode, but ehh, dosen't really matter.

"Its all good mate, we understand, the chat was going a bit crazy" Phil says.

I soon leave call, mom then bringing me this container putting this stuff that looked a bit like lotion on my hand, then handing me my medication.

"you need to start taking these" Mom said.

"I know" I said.

"I'm serious Tom's, I pay alot of money for this medication, for you to go to therapy, for everything, you need to start being more grateful" she said.

"Mhm" I say.

"Don't start this again Thomas, me and you father are just trying to help you" she says.

"I know, your right, I'm just being ungrateful, I'll try to start being more grateful for everything" I say.

"Good, now you get some sleep, it's getting late." She says then leaving the room.

Wooooooo, finally wrote this! Might be getting a bit more wholesome Tommy soon.