Marvel One Shots

Here - Yelena[ANGST]

(Angst, Fluff)

TW: Scars, PTSD, Anxiety, tics, Skip if it's not for you, hope your okay :)
Sorry if the tics don't translate as I wanted them too, also wrote from experience, not everyone's are the same <3
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YOUR POV

I had just finished up 800m swim in the pool. I got out the changing room to the sun rising, I liked to come swim early in the morning before everyone is up so I am ready for the day and so they don't see my scars from surgery that no one knows I had and also from before when I was in a darker time but it got be through the day. I didn't want anyone to think differently of me for having struggled. I have managed to keep a lot of my old life in the past but as I struggle with ptsd from the trauma, not even my girlfriend Yelena knows.

She has her own battles and I don't want to burden her with my problems. I comfort her and we have strategies to help her cope with her PTSD from the red room. Truth is I didn't want to tell her why I was struggling because she has been through so much and is still a badass, caring girlfriend and I just feel like I would let her down.

YELENA POV

Y/n has been acting different but I wanted to wait a little to see if I could put my finger on it. Normally I can read her like a book, but this is something I haven't seen before but whatever she is feeling is starting to show, well to me anyway. Every time we go to the shops she almost religiously brings her ear phones and zones out, she fiddles with her rings and grips on to my hand slightly harder than normally.
In the compound when she is having a conversation her eyes dart everywhere but the person she is talking to even her best friend Wanda, however I think she might know something because she is constantly asking y/n if their okay when this happens.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when I hear random noises mixed with muffled sobs coming from y/n's room. I leaped off my bed and ran to her door, I noticed Wanda coming to her door too but she gestured for me to go in instead.

I open the door quietly to see y/n crying on the floor. I rush down to her side and try to comfort her.
"Shhh baby it's gonna be okay, what's happened?" She didn't reply but looked up to notice it was me and she let out more broken sobs that made my heart sink.
"Your going to need to tell me what's happened любовь(love)" I said softly.
Her hands were shaking and her head was jerking in random directions and her eyes were darting everywhere and widening and shrinking, then it hit me that she had no control over what was happening. I shuffled back to give her space and the fear in her eyes made me so sad. "Don't, mmm, don't leave me" she said as a tic broke through her sentence.

I carefully put offered my hand out to which she took it and I moved them so she could watch our hands together, I started to draw patterns over her knuckles which seemed to help calm her down.
After an hour of sitting like this her tics had dissolved into just the movement in her eyes. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this" said whispered barely able to hear her. My brows furrowed in confusion. "Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about or embarrassed that this is something that happened to you, but  дорогой(sweetheart)why didn't you tell me?"
I asked warily.

"Yelena, there's a lot you don't know, i developed tics through anxiety which I got through PTSD relating to my life before us"

"дорогой, i am so sorry"

"I guess I didn't tell you because I didn't want to burden you with my issues too or make you think your problems were less than mine"

"The way I see our relationship is that we are here to help lift each other's burdens because we aren't burdens to each other, or anyone in this compound"

" I know Lena but it's just the way I was 'raised' was to believe that my problems don't matter, well I don't matter"

" well y/n that's not true you are my world, you were there for me through it all, being freed from Dreykov, and after sisters death. I can't imagine going through live with out you. Okay?"

"Nat family to me too, of course I will always be here for you"

"Right we need to make a list of things that help and don't help when you feel anxious again incase it gets to that again because I want to help or whoever is around will need to help ok? Like a coping strategy list similar to what we have for me yeah? Also this needs to be aware to the others малыш(baby) but when your ready" I said whilst hugging y/n I know she likes her hugs and I feel her tighten her grip so I look down at her to be greater with a weary smile.

"I love you Yelena, thank you"

"я тоже тебя люблю(I love you too), we will get through this together малыш" with that I placed a kiss on her forehead.
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Hey bestie, sorry this took a while have been moving, anyway I hope you like it, let me know what characters you want to see soon.

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Hope you have a good day 💚