Let Me Love You

Chapter 13 Heal Me

Nysa's POV

I wasn't broken, instead I knew that what mattered was for him to heal. As much as I wanted to be there for him, with him, I knew it was space that he seeked, and I had made up my mind that until he himself wouldn't reach out to me, I will not move.

"Say bye to Nysa, April," Mrs Weldon waved from her porch as April was in her arms. I waved back at them.

"Bye bye baby!" I blew a kiss at her as she blushed. Turning away from them, I had barely taken three steps towards my house, when my phone beeped with one notification. Taking it out, as of habit, I checked to see it was a text.

'I want to talk, I am in the park, waiting...' - Unknown.

My heart raced as I felt a strange sensation climb up my spine. I gulped as I texted mum that I will be a little late, before turning into the opposite direction and walking, not at my usual speed.

By the time I reached the park, I was sweating, more from the nervousness than the quick walk. My eyes landed on his back, as he was seated in the middle of the field, alone, face down. I inhaled a deep slow breath, as I let it out slowly as well. A weight shifted onto my chest.

It had been a week since we talked, a week since I saw him. Time seemed to have played well, that the very next day since we had that morning talk, our school gave us a week's break, to prepare ourselves for our exams at the end of this term.

"Didn't bring Ziko today?" I walked over to him, fear leaving me as I felt a sense of home approach me.

He immediately looked up, his eyes content from the wait, as if he had been longing for my arrival.

"He disturbs alot," he said, a smile so strange on his lips. I smiled back. He tapped on the spot next to him, for me to sit.

I sat down, my legs folded, I inhaled a breath with my eyes closed. "You sure love the afternoons here," I said as I faced up, eyes still closed, as I felt his gaze on me.

"Yes-" he said, as I looked at him to see he was a little lost in thoughts. I smiled at him.

"Are you nervous about the exam?" I asked, as his eyes met mine.

"No," he said.

"Then?" I asked.

"I'm scared," he said, his eyes glancing at my lips, before meeting my eyes once again.

"For?" I breathed, already aware of the attraction and building tension.

"About you," he said as I was at a loss for words.

"Why me?" I finally spoke, trying hard not to look away.

"Because," he breathed. I felt the warm air touch my skin, as I became aware of how close of a distance we were in. My eyes glanced at his lips, before quickly looking back up.

"Because?" I felt tears in my eyes.

"Because you make me see the truth out of all my lies," he said, tears brimming in his eyes. "You hold the power to heal me, you know this, and every fucking time you try to come forward and do so, I push you away!" His tone changed to a harsh one. But I knew, his anger was for him, not me. "I fucking push you with such a strength that it hurts you, and everytime you get back up and come forward, forgiving me for the damage I give you!" He hissed.

I watched him, hearing every word of his clearly.

"I am tired of pushing you away, but I will not accept that because I know I am not worthy of you, but I also know I fucking want you, I am scared that one day I might push you so far that you will be gone, I am so fucking scared!" He cried, tears leaving his eyes in a hot burn.

Getting on my knees, I cupped his cheeks, wiping away the hot liquid. His eyes held mine, as I realized I was silently crying as well.

"I want you to heal me Nysa, but I am much of an arrogant bastard to ask you that!" He sobbed as I pulled him to my chest, his face burried into my warmth.

"I'm here, Ryan," I whispered as I felt his body tremble.

"I am sorry, I know I am fucked up, and I have ego and all that shit-" he choked on his words.

I held his face, as I touched our foreheads together. His breathing slowly calmed, as he held my hand tightly.

"How much did you drink?" I asked, moving back as I looked at him. His eyes holding a very strong emotion, as a smile tugged on his lips.

"How did you-" he was at loss for words.

"I know you wouldn't say all this sober, how much did you drink?" I chuckled softly, as I wiped tears off his face.

"Five cans," he got on his knees as we held onto each other.

"Ryan, we will talk when you are sober, and remember this conversation," I said as he looked at me.

"Don't-" he breathed.

"I want you to be sure and remember the words you spoke, because I don't want to be pushed again," I said, as tears filled my eyes again.

"Nysa don't leave me!" He held me close.

"I'm not leaving you, I'm just moving back and will wait for you to come to me Ryan, and that is going to happen only when you remember this moment," I said, as I kissed his forehead.

"No no don't leave me, heal me Nysa, don't go," he tightened his hold on me.

"I am here Ryan, but you have to figure it out when you are sober, not drunk, okay," I kissed the tip of his nose.

He shook his head. "Keep me close," he whispered.

"You are already close to me," I whispered, as I claimed his lips.

It was a kiss filled with longing, passion, love, fear and many other emotions that none of us could name. His arms wrapped around my waist, as he deepened the kiss, my fingers playing with his hair.

"I really hope you remember this Ryan, when you wake up sober tomorrow, because I will never forget this," I said as I felt his tears.

His lips met mine again, as we both cherished for a moment longer, before I moved away and stood up. Without another word, but with hope in heart, I left.

*********
'Sometimes some moments feel like a dream sequence, but once you figure it out, then only you realize it was real.'

Sorry for late update guys, I hope you enjoyed Chapter 13...stay tuned for more🙂🙂🙂