Porcelain

Chapter 65

Dallas sat in another hard uncomfortable hospital chair, staring at Estelle's unmoving form. She was connected to all kinds of medical devises and was covered in multiple bandages from head to toe.

The doctors had told him that they weren't sure she was going to be able to pull through the emergency surgery after having lost so much blood. She had also had to have hundreds of stitches to close the multiple cuts all over her body. She was doing better now that it had been a few days, but she still hadn't regained consciousness, or at least enough to do anything.

And although Johnny was healthy as well, there were some concerns about him as well. He had been born early, and was on the smaller side. His legs were also having problems as well, when Estelle was kicked by the attackers, his legs had been damaged.

How fucking ironic could it get? Had Johnny, his Johnny, not died, he would have been crippled for life. He wouldn't have been able to walk.

He shifted his thoughts to the girl on the hospital bed. In the car with Darry, Darry had mentioned how she was his girlfriend. The title just didn't seem right. A girlfriend to him was a girl like Sylvia. A girl he would have fun with for a while, but ultimately get bored of and move on. Estelle was more. He was sure now, he loved her. He cared about her in a way he'd never cared for anyone before. The only one who even came close was Johnny Cade, and that was still astronomically different. "Girlfriend" didn't seem like the right title for her to have given how much she meant to him.

Speaking of referring to people, how was he going to differentiate between Johnny, his son, and Johnny, the boy he loved as if he were his brother? It was his own fault for giving his son the exact same name as his friend, but it had seemed like the right thing to do.

Well, he could have written "John," but that didn't seem like a name one called a baby. Besides, he hadn't.

The baby was in the room with them, asleep in his little box thing. Dally didn't understand how he could sleep comfortably in that thing, it being seemingly solid plastic, but he wasn't going to question it. Much better asleep than bawling.

He stood up and went to look at him. He was so little, so breakable looking. It was incredible to think that one day he would be a person capable of living on his own, and that once upon a time Dally had looked like that. Johnny had a combination of Estelle's features and his features, but he didn't really look much like either of them in particular yet.

It pained him a bit to think about how the first few days of Johnny's life were going. He didn't know jack shit about taking care of babies, and Estelle hadn't even met him yet. So hospital nurses were the ones doing everything to take care of him. They'd instructed him through a few things, like holding him or giving him a bottle, but they seemed to be intimidated by him, and tried to spend as little time in the same room as him as possible.

He carefully picked him up, holding him as closely as he could to the way the nurses had told him to. He walked over to Estelle's bed.

"Look Johnny, that's your mother. You haven't met her yet, and she hasn't met you yet, but she carried you in her belly for eight and a half months. I know she'll like you," he whispered. "She's not doing good right now, but she's a fighter. She's not gonna die here, she's too strong for that."

"And she's my girlfriend, I guess. I... love her," he said tentatively. "Girlfriend sounds like the wrong title for her, it doesn't mean enough to cover what she is to me. But you don't even know what any words mean, so none of this means anything to you."

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Everything sounded fuzzy and distorted, as if she was underwater. She vaguely heard a voice, but she couldn't tell what it was saying. She hoped they weren't talking to her, she wouldn't be able to respond.

She tried to remember what had happened, but she was so tired. It hurt to try and think of it. She remembered going to a race, and then getting up, and the rest of the night was a blur. She almost remembered the blows that resulted in the current pain throughout her entire body now, but none of it was in clear enough thoughts for her to comprehend.

She remembered curling tightly into a ball, trying to protect herself from the blows raining down on her, trying to protect her belly. Oh, right, she was pregnant. Or at least she used to be, what happened to her baby? Was it okay? Was her baby alive? Was it still in her, growing, or was it already born? Her mind came came up blank on all ends, she had no idea what had really happened to her beyond that she had been attacked, and that she had been trying to protect her baby.

She drifted back to sleep. She could get answers later. Later, when she had the energy. But she was just so tired, and everything hurt. It couldn't hurt for her to sleep for a little longer...