Chapter 8

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-- your POV --

The first week at the headquarters was horrible, I tell you, horrible.

After I cried myself to sleep and woke up in Loki's bed, I felt so empty. I can't describe the feeling, I just thought that my life is officially at its worst which I think wasn't possible anymore, but I got to know better; it always can get worse, but back to the story.

I practically didn't leave the room, thankful that Loki wasn't in there with me. He probably knew that I didn't want to do anything with him, wether if it was talking or some other activities. Some time of the day I decided to step out, letting them at least know that I was there and telling them that I will look for a hotel to stay in, but Tony insisted that I stay here until I was really feeling okay again. What should I say, I was desperate and stayed. Anxious that if I might go back to work or stay at a hotel that he'll find me and make me talk to him. At least I know that here are some 'super heroes' that could 'protect' me. God, that sounds so wrong, because I used to protect myself.

However, I stayed and one week is over now. I'm not feeling good, still feeling very empty and every time the doorbell rings, my heart starts to beat faster and I can't relax until I know who was there. Also the whole situation at the headquarters is totally strange. Whenever I enter a room, all the conversation stops. Most eyes are on me and sometimes someone asks me how I am feeling. They still wonder what brought me back, sure they think that Hadeon and I broke up but they don't know the details. They also know that I've actually never wanted to come back here, so they know that there must be something completely wrong.

I've also been wearing just sweats and hoodies, never showing any skin, which is not how they used to know me. After the first night, I showered in Loki's shower and noticed all the bruises that he left all over my body. Since then I felt disgusting, always covering myself up, not wanting anyone to find out what happened.

Do I believe that it was my fault that he slapped me? I really don't know. He warned me to not yell at him and I ignored it, but on the other side I was very upset - still am - and I just needed to scream at him because he cheated on me with my assistant. Did I think about it since I'm here? Yes, but every time I start to think about it, i do other things to distract me, or I cry, which also helps to not think about it too much. I've also visited the graves of Selene and Ares, not somehow talking to them but just sitting in front of their gravestones and looking at them.

I'm not gonna lie, I thought I got rid of him after the first week. He isn't that dump to not think about the option that I came back here. I mean yeah, I said I'll never come back here but here I am.

I am just waking along the hallway until the doorbell rang. I froze on spot, not moving, just waiting until I can listen to the voice, make sure it's not him.

-Steve: "Who Are you?" He asks in a sternly voice, not knowing the stranger who's just standing in front of the door.

-Hadeon: "I'm the boyfriend of Y/n. Is she here? I've been looking for her in all New York City." I don't know if I'm even breathing anymore at this point. His voice has something worriedly, something sad in it and it breaks my heart too. But the thing is, I have no idea if he means it or if it's just show, trying to get me back or something else.

-Steve: "Come on in, I'll get her real quick." At This point im sure I'm not breathing anymore. He just let him inside a place I thought I could be safe from him. I hear footsteps and I want to move but my body just won't listen to me. My head screams run, but my body isn't moving a muscle.

-Steve: "Wait here." He probably shows him one of the seats that are in the entrance, but I don't know because I'm standing around a corner, not able to see them, especially not when my body isn't moving.

-Peter: "Hey Y/n." He says way too loud and full of enthusiasm. I quickly shush him, putting one of my hand on his mouth. "Are you alright? What's wrong?" He asked after he noticed how fucking stressed I am and after I took my hand from his mouth.

-Y/n: "Please, get me out of here." I whisper. Can't help the panic that is raising inside of me.

-Peter: "Well, there is the door." He points to the door that is around the corner, where Hadeon is sitting. I quickly shake with my head.

-Y/n: "Hide me." I then whisper, not wanting to explain this child anything why I need to get out of here.

I just hope he gets how serious I am and how freaked out I am and that he shouldn't asking any questions. Then, to my relief, he nods his head, looking really serious right now.

-Peter: "Should I get you to my room?"

-Y/n: "Isn't that on the other end of the house?" I ask stressed and a little unfriendly but I can't control it right now.

-Peter: "The nearest room is Loki's. I can't imagine that you would want to go there after... you know?"

-Y/n: "Right now I don't give a shit, i just need to get away from here."

And that's how I ended up in Loki's room with Peter Parker, who left shortly after he made sure I was better after he brought me there, to inform me when Hadeon is finally gone again. I was just sitting there on the chair next to Loki's bed, hoping that he wouldn't find me here and make everything very awkward. We've silently been avoiding each other and if I would just show up in his room it would just send wrong signals towards him.

*

Loki didn't see me in his room that day, neither did I have to talk with Hadeon. Peter obviously asked questions about why I was so freaked out about that stranger but I didn't give him any answers. Eventually he dropped it. I'm surprised that he didn't tell the others though, or at least that's why I think. Steve mentioned that a stranger approached and he told him that he was my boyfriend and wanted to talk to me but also didn't ask any questions, thank god.

I thought that I could relax now and concentrate on myself a bit more now but oh, I was so wrong. Hadeon didn't stop to show up here and ask for me. He shows up every single fucking day of the week and i have no excuses to avoid him anymore. It was always that I had to work or that I was taking a bath, a shower, whatever but it starts to look suspicious, especially because it seems to be always Steve who opens the door. The worst is, that he told me he likes the stranger, whose name is Hadeon - as if I didn't knew that already - and that he'll invite him to one of the next party's Tony will throw.

I start to think that maybe if I move in a hotel, or get myself an apartment or something that I would feel better, because Hadeon wouldn't know. But since Steve and Hadeon are good friends from now on, he'll probably tell him that I moved, especially because he always seems to ask for me.

The most disgusting part is, that he puts on this friendly, gentleman like face that I fell in love with, but in real life he's just like that if everything's goes after his orders.

*

-Loki: "What's wrong?"

I'm standing in shock in the hallway again. Hadeon talking to Steve, asking for me and Steve just offered him to come inside. Loki looks generally worried at me, not knowing this side of me. I don't answer him, I can't not even if I wanted to. Then I start to shake when I hear footsteps coming towards me. Loki seems to notice that I'm tensing even more up and obviously that I'm shaking and he reacts immediately.

-Loki: "I'll bring you to my room."

He carefully takes my hand but I just can't move, too afraid to make any sound and alarm Hadeon that I'm here.

-Loki: "Come on, or do you want me to carry you."

In any other moment, I would've definitely said no and maybe I would've given him a death glare, but right now I'm giving him a desperate, panicking look and he has to swallow. Then he nods and lifts me off the ground to carry me bride style to his room. As soon as the door got closed, I started to move again, able to breath and my heart slowing down a bit. Now I know that I'll have to give explanations. He won't just drop it line Peter did, i know that - I know him.

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