Endosymbiosis

48. Fatigue

"Thanks for not giving up on me." I whispered. "But your arm..." I reached out my hand to ask for hers and she closed the distance between us, handing her fingers on mine. I took them very gently, as if each scar was a crack or a patch on the edges torn by me, and guided my fingers along the lines to where they disappeared at the elbow.

And to think that my existence was what had caused her to feel the pain of those lines, now imprinted on her skin forever... My fault.

"This scar will hold a great story to tell later..." She whispered and the smile I opened in response didn't reach my eyes.

"I would trade my arm for yours if I could..."

"I don't think your arm would match the rest of me." She joked and backed away from the edge of the tub.

Her expression was like the slimy substance of a carnivorous plant, holding my gaze. Slowly she moved her fingers to her shoulders and slid the clothes over her curves, forming a pile on the floor... And getting completly naked.

I was mesmerized by her exposed skin, the delicate shapes, the colors, the textures I so desperatly wanted to touch, and found myself unable to look away... But something about the confidence in her face told me that running away from that vision was not what she wanted me to do.

Her feet tested the water and slowly she dove, hiding her body below the surface.

"You understand what I mean...." I whispered, my voice breaking for a moment. "It's not fair that you carry this memory while I'm here... With no scars..."

She smiled and closed the distance between us.

"If it were a matter of justice, it wouldn't have been fair for me to let you die just to avoid a mere scar." Doxy shrugged. "And I think I can get used to it eventually."

"Well... It makes you more intimidating."

"Are you afraid of me, Arkadi Phaga?"

I cracked a smile and touched her face, my fingers between the strands of hair on the back of her neck.

"If I were the kind of man who got scared that easy, you wouldn't have saved me."

Doxy moved a little closer, her hands navigating the waves of the little water that still separated us and then my hair. Every point where she touched me her touch permeated, as if trying to decipher my thoughts.

For a moment I let myself observe her surfaces and depths, the gravity she had of which I couldn't escape. Doxy was as enchanting as when I first saw her in that hospital, surrounded by a luminous aura above my bruised and tired body.

But now I saw that there was a darkness in her...

And maybe that's why she could stand mine.

Her features looked naive, but in her eyes there was a ferocity that only beings you shouldn't trust had. Those were the eyes of someone who knew death well enough to know how to bring it... The eyes of those who used their own storms against the ships of their enemies. And however much her face showed me heaven, in her eyes I fell into a sensual and scalding hell.

"I don't regret it..." She whispered, as if I was worth any pain. And, opening a knowing smile: "But you have to make my sacrifice worth it."

"You don't need to ask. I will never turn my back on you, as I have done to so many others..."

She cocked her head, curious, and touched my arm gently.

"Who?"

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath until the answer wobbled out: