Endosymbiosis

37. Tremble

When I laid there, I swore that the presence of the soldiers, asleep with their arms wrapped around weapons, would bring me some security... But they just reminded me of how helpless I was in that universe of merciless beasts – too small, too weak.

At some point I couldn't breathe anymore. My entire body was shivering, icy, as sweat trickled down my neck. My mouth was dry, my eyes swallowing the darkness and my chest being crushed by all those layers of atmosphere above.

I got up and ran as fast as I could to the exit of the tent. I stumbled through the gap and crawled out, emerging from the darkness as if born again... And the coolness of the frigid night air seemed to fill me with life once more. But I didn't like the cold – it made me too comfortable.

"Are you okay?" Arkadi whispered, making me jump in fright. "You're so pale... More than usual, at least." He tried to make me laugh, but I just glared at him.

Arkadi was sitting beside one of the tents, snowflakes on his eyelashes, nose flushed and elbow propped up on a weapon bigger than himself. Perhaps he was awake because of the mission to prowl the camp; or maybe because he couldn't sleep in nights before days like the ones to come.

"I lost sleep." I replied.

"Was the 'symphony' inside too loud?"

My traitorous lip curled up a little, but I soon pushed it back down.

"The problem is the silence..." I confessed. "Everything is quiet as death... As if, at any moment, the calm will disappear and the chaos will explode in our faces..."

Arkadi watched me, his fingers tightly around the weapon, telling me I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"Do not worry about it." And then, winking at me, he whispered: "We are chaos."

I didn't know which was worse, actually.

He nodded to one of the chairs beside him, silently inviting me; but his company was not quite what I had in mind at the moment. I thought about turning and heading back to the tent, but I could feel my chest running out of breath just by imagining myself trapped between those soldiers and the distant sky... So I decided to sit next to Arkadi.

"You would have liked me better if you had known me on Earth before the Empire..." He whispered, his eyes on the stars and greenish lights that danced across the horizon. "Everything would have been very different in a life like that..."

"You wouldn't be contaminated with a dangerous fevino..."

"And you wouldn't want to go to the galaxy's core."

"Maybe you would have spent more time in the hospital because of that shot..."

"And maybe I would have the courage to ask you to go for a coffee."

"But I would say no, because I don't like coffee."

"No problem. I would think of something else." He shrugged, pulling a smile out of me. "It would have been so simple..."

"It would." I sighed. "Maybe in another life..."

I didn't look at him, but I could feel his gaze on me.

"In another life then."

So, in the secret of our two-believer religion, we surrender to the silence.

• • • ֍ • • •

When the next morning arrived, it was the day that the revolution would attack that part of the Empire, starting with the concentration on the other side of the valley.

The soldiers – mostly vorrampes – gathered in the open space between the tents and Korrok joined them, every step drawing our attention to his power until no one could look in the other direction. And as he roared at each of us, the whole world seemed to tremble under our feet:

"They took our riches, our homes, our families..." The silence was frighteningly deep as Korrok ran his eyes over each of those beings who trusted him with their destinies and then growled, filling me with shivers: "But they still haven't taken our LIVES! They are ours to give to what we want! And now I ask you: are you willing to give them away for this REVOLUTION?!

They all roared in response, giving every fiber of their bodies for that cause, for that revenge, for the spark of hope that the revolution still fueled, after their hatred grown so hungry. Korrok opened the smile of someone who believed the war was already won – just because he knew he was no longer alone – and then, with a voracity capable of devouring planets, he exploded into the world:

"THEN LET'S RECLAIM OUR EMPIRE!"

The soldiers marched into the forest. I couldn't escape the desire to follow them... Because, with my improvement, maybe I could help more on the battlefront than in the iatric tents, waiting for the soldiers' remains for me to patch and send back into the chaos. ... Perhaps, in battle, I could prevent them from reaching that point; and maybe I could help them win...

Apparently that idea was stamped on my face, because as soon as Deinos walked by me, he said:

"Maybe after training, Donecea." I curled up inside the iatric tent. "And cover me if I return alive."

So the troops disappeared into the snow.

And Arkadi was among them.