Love Circum-fended

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

Aadhira (evasively): Why do I care. (sulks) You can drink two coffees by yourself, but can't get one SMALL slap from me?

Thamizh (frowns): Sagikala di un logic. (I can't bear your logic)

He suddenly realizes what she said and hides the coffee cup with his leg. Restrained, he tried to divert her attention.

Thamizh (lowers his tone): Didn't you go for your practice session?

Aadhira doesn't reply to him. Thamizh pulls her by her arm, making her face him.

Thamizh (looks into her eyes): Sorry ma... sorry kanmani. (holds one of his ear with his hand)

Her heart melted instantly seeing him apologize and call her by the name 'Kanmani' which was her character name in the drama they had performed together in college.

Aadhira (untroubled): I'm not going to go there anymore, I've decided.

He disdainfully turned his face away. She continued looking into his face with utmost clarity in her speech and tone. He remains silent and listens to her speak.

Aadhira: Maybe, I'm not just destined to do this... and not well prepared for this. It could be too early for me right? Everyone else are SO good, I'm not even 1% of what they are. I don't even know how to select a song. Now that the ring is not with me, I have become even worse.

Frustrated, Thamizh started walking to and fro. She followed him as she continued speaking.

Aadhira: Even if I continue, nobody would hire a singer like me. There are so many better singers. And see, I'm sure I will get eliminated soon, then why waste money and time on me? (laughs) Paavam, you also come every day to pick me up from...

Thamizh (enraged): This is why, this is why I don't want to talk to you. Did I ever claim it a problem or discomfort to me?

Aadhira was dumbstruck. She didn't expect that coming.

Thamizh: Why are you so pessimistic about things Aadhira, and please don't try to change the fact that YOU ARE SCARED of failure and put the blame on us.

Aadhira (contentious): When did I blame you? I just don't want to be a burden Thamizh ! What if I don't succeed in this.. everything would be pointless right? You coming to pick me up everyday, bus fares...

Thamizh (taken aback): Really? Bus fares? Are you out of your mind?

Aadhira: Not just that ! The kind of conviction that our families show towards my passion and the love they have on me (chokes), it scares me... what if I don't live up to their expectations... and I don't think I would be ever be able to...

Thamizh: Everyone go through this Aadhira, my parents wanted me to be a doctor ! But look at what am doing! Every month my photographs get rejected, even if it gets selected, it gets used without my permission or plagarized. Am I not trying every single time I fall down?

Aadhira: But, you have talent Thamizh. I lack that... as well as confidence. And I seriously don't know why... I feel like an imposter everytime I stand up on stage (tears up).

Thamizh (blunt): Oh god, give me a break Aadhira! If you really had passion towards singing you would have not told these many reasons to discontinue. You have all belief on a simple ring, why can't you believe yourself instead? And stop bringing down your self-esteem Aadhira. I know what you are.

She started crying uncontrollably with her voice shivering when she tried to speak. Thamizh realized that he had hurt her but couldn't just plainly agree to this insecure side of hers.

Aadhira (cries): I agree... I am a coward... I don't really mean to be this person, in fact I hate this side of mine. But...

She struggles to speak with her voice quivering and takes a huge breath.

Aadhira (in a feeble voice): I can't just help it Thamizh... 

Thamizh's constricted eyebrows relaxes and comes down listening to her words. He feels bad for her. Her voice faltered and she went downstairs heartbroken, hiding her face from Thamizh's parents.

Aadhira (in a shivering voice): I'm leaving aunty, bye uncle.

Madhi: Aadhira... wait. Chithra, go and speak to him.

Madhi asks Aadhira to sit with him. She initially refuses but later obliges to his order. With her lips quivering and her kajal running down with tears along her cheeks, she sat, covering her face with her hands. Madhi comforts her by giving her water. Chithra goes to the terrace and looks at the worried Thamizh.

TO BE CONTINUED