Picture Picture

Epilogue

Epilogue

The graduation ceremony was a blur. Though Nicky was so caught up in the moment, especially being awarded as the valedictorian, it still felt like everything just happened too fast. And unexplainably, she felt utterly lost. She barely felt those medals weighing down her neck.

As she sat on her chair, trying to rivet her ears to a speech delivered fervently by John Michael, their salutatorian, her mind wandered elsewhere. She could not help but think about the first day in high school. How threatened she felt when it was John Michael whose hand shot upward first to the first question their Science teacher asked the class. John Michael answered that question with an air of smugness, and Nicky thought his answer was ripped right off a science textbook. They hadn't had their books, yet. And even Nicky's guess was nowhere close to John Michael's bookish but very much correct answer. Since then, Nicky felt challenged. She studied rigorously and aimed not just to surpass John Michael, but to top the class as well.

It was when Nicky turned to the side to take a quick glimpse of the graduating class seated in rows, when she spotted Red, who was sitting at the farthest side of a row opposite to her, that another thought, a memory, popped in her head. It was something she hadn't even realized she could recall vividly. She could not believe she remembered her first encounter with a classmate that first day in High School. It was a drizzling Monday morning, and she had just got in the room, saw an empty armchair beside a boy, and went to it. Out of politeness, she asked subtly if the seat was taken, and he replied with a simple, "yeah."

Nicky shuddered remembering who that classmate was. And then, a thought hit her. Well, that somehow explained why I didn't like him that much then, even never paid attention to him since then, because, right at the first day, he already dismissed me.

She then found a seat in front, right beside a small, quiet girl who then turned out to be her closest classmate, June. It wasn't later, during that part where they have to introduce themselves that Nicky noticed Iggy. He seemed like a nice, bright boy. And from then on, Nicky could not look at any other boys.

Nicky sighed on her seat. She couldn't believe four years had already passed. And that High School was finally very close to over. Yet somehow, strangely, it still felt like the first day.

The rest of ceremony went by like a fast-forwarded movie, freezing only for picture-takings. Before Nicky knew it, people were already standing up from their seats, parents and relatives coming up to their kids for the photo ops. Nicky was pushed and pulled here and there to be included for some shots. And she wore that same steady dazed smile every time the camera flashed.

Nicky could hear the exuberant chatters, the cheerful congratulations, the rapid clicks for every photo taken, her classmates excitedly telling their other classmates to have them tagged on Facebook, but everything seemed distant, the sounds seemed all muffled, all far away. Her mother had to call her name twice for her to finally reply, "what?"

"Cheer up, Nic. It's your day!"

"Yeah, sure."

Then, before she knew it, it was over. Lois was hugging her and inviting her to join her family for dinner. She congratulated her, even gave her a gift. Nicky was not sure if she thanked her, except that she heard herself saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't get you any."

And then, June came up to her and asked for a photo of them, just the two of them. Nicky obliged, but it had to be taken twice, since June's mother, a short curly-haired woman well in her fifties, commented Nicky looked like she was scowling. She tried her best to smile as she felt June's comforting arm on her shoulder. It was then, right after the flash went, that Nicky's smile went upside down as when she quickly turned to the side, she saw Red passed by, glancing at her impassively. Didn't he say we can stay friends? Why is he glancing at me like he doesn't, couldn't, wouldn't see me at all?