limbo ~ malum au (boyxboy)

2 - thick and thin

October 22, 2014

An annoyingly loud beeping started from Calum's phone in his bedroom at 6:00am exactly, just like every morning.

And, just like every morning, he hit snooze.

6:07am: Snooze. 6:14am: Snooze. 6:21am: Snooze... Until the time on his phone read 6:49am. That gave him barely enough time to shower and get dressed, having to eat at school or pick something up on the way. He kept his alarm set so early because he hoped that, maybe one day, he would actually hop out of bed at exactly six and maybe make himself a proper breakfast. Even though he is content with his normal morning routine, he just feels as though having time to spare is more.. civilized. Makes him feel like he's got his shit together, even though he already has.

He hurried in the shower, taking his toothbrush with him in order to save time. He also enjoys the fact that he can freely spit out the toothpaste wherever he desires, just for the scalding hot water to wash it away.

After drying his tanned, muscular body off with his towel, he took a pair of black skinny jeans out of his dresser and pulled them up, having to hop around a bit with his fingers curled through his belt loops. He then strolled over to his closet and picked out a white singlet that read "Santa Cruz" and a jacket. He's never been there; maybe he'll visit one day.

Calum tugged on a pair of classic black vans, pocketed his phone, sauntered into the small kitchen and picked up his wallet and backpack; quick to make his way out the door.

Unlike other populars at his school, Calum doesn't have a car and isn't rich. He lives in a two bedroom apartment with his mom and walks to school. Luke used to offer him rides, but he's declined so many times that the blonde just stopped asking. It doesn't bother him though, almost nothing bothers Calum.

The raven haired boy hopped down the front porch steps and began his usual route to school. It was approximately a ten minute walk, so he could manage. The cool October air nipped at his cheeks, but his brisk strides caused his heart rate to elevate, heating up his body.

He brought his hand to the front pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a a fresh pack of cigarettes. He hit the box against his palm four times before unwrapping it and pulling out a crisp, extra long Marlboro. The cigarette rested between his lips as he cupped his hands around it, lighting it.

Calum knows the dangers of smoking and how it affects his body, but that didn't matter to him. The tobacco helped relieve his stress and kept his hands from shaking while at school. The thick, phlegmy cough that he slowly acquired was a small price to pay for keeping his sanity.

Lately everything has been stressing him out. He's failing three classes, which means when grades come out he will not be able to continue playing football. His mom also works late, and he never gets to spend time with her. He realizes how selfish he sounds, considering he doesn't have a job and Joy is working hard to provide for both of them, but he can't help it. He is pretty selfish, anyways.

Sometimes, though, it all gets to be too much, and he wishes he could start over. Every once in a while, he will find himself holding on tight to the bathroom sink; the force in his chest will grip tight to his heart and lungs and the pain is unbearable. He swears it's caused by stress; the pain he is feeling is all in his head due to the fact that he fucking hates himself. But, Calum would never admit to feeling that way. He simply pushes the feelings away and goes back to being a cold, heartless dick like he's been since age 14.

He grasped the cigarette between his middle and forefinger and tilted his head up to blow the smoke out through his chapped lips. With every exhale, he started to care a little less, and by the time he reached the butt of his cigarette, he couldn't give half a fuck. About anything.