Broken Promises [Kakashi x Reader]

~ 2 ~

(Art by @2964_KO on twitter)

As soon as I breathed in I sat up from a jump, inhaling harder and faster as I clung to my chest, feeling my heart rate extremely fast. My breathing was ragged, sweat lined up my forehead, and all I could think about was that heinous and agonizing image of (Y/n). 

I looked around, still in panic, and recognized my room. 'A dream?' I thought, hopeful that it was. But it wasn't, it couldn't be. That was our mission, we had been assigned to it a week ago. Everything that happened wasn't a dream. 'We were found? Someone saved us?' I came to that conclusion, which brought me back to the weight on my chest. 

"(Y/n)!" I called, standing up from my bed. I put on my sandals quickly and lousily and sprinted off my apartment without even caring to put on the rest of my anbu uniform. 

As I sprinted towards the hospital more images of what happened flashed in my mind. She looked... dead. She couldn't have survived that, no one could... But she had to. She couldn't have died. Not her too.

I bit my bottom lip hard, immediately tasting the iron in my blood, but I didn't care. And while I ran as fast as I could to the hospital, my mind kept torturing me with images of (Y/n) dying in front of me. 

"A girl," I stammered out of breath when I finally reached the hospital "(Y/n) (L/n), where is she?" I asked the lady at the check-in. 

She looked at me, surprise and confusion obvious on her face. Probably because of my altered state. But upon seeing my ninja clothes she decided to ignore it and looked through her book with all the patients' names and rooms. 

"There's no one with that name, sir"

Just a few words, a short sentence spoken as normally as a day-to-day conversation. Something as simple as that was enough to make my racing heart freeze. My hot skin from having run so much turned cold in sweat. My eyes widened as if I was watching (Y/n)'s dismembered and disfigured body in front of me again, throbbing at the most likely possibility. 

"And a..." I stuttered "a dead body?" I asked, swallowing the lump that had begun to form in my throat. 

"We don't process ninja dead bodies, sorry" she answered with an apologetic look before going back to her work. 

My throat closed again. If she wasn't in the hospital that meant... I closed my eyes with strength, biting my already hurt lip, and sprinted off one more time with my eyes closed. This time running towards the Hokage's office. He would know where she was. If her injuries were being treated elsewhere, or if her body...

I clenched my hands so hard that I dug my nails into my skin. She cannot be dead. She promised me. She promised...

It was very late at night. Probably around 2 am. I had just come back from a mission so I decided it was the perfect time to go visit Obito and Rin. It was impossible to find (Y/n) there this late. She always visited in the morning or around 5 pm. I knew because I couldn't help but look at her from the distance. 

It was painful. It pained me to see her so broken because of my mistakes. It also pained me to distance myself from her, but even if she said she had forgiven me, I couldn't forgive myself. And despite how much it hurt, I couldn't help but still watch from afar. Maybe because I needed to make sure that she, the last person I had, lived. Or maybe it was because I had been so used to the pain that I needed to feel it even if it meant I had to cause it.

As soon as I stepped into the graveyard light rain started to pour, and I couldn't think of a more appropriate way of welcoming me. I walked toward Rin and Obito's graves first. I'd visit Minato-sensei's and my father's later.