Longing After Wang Ye's Shadow

Chapter 15: The Clock Strikes when the Rooster Crows

After that ordeal, Wang Ye walks me to Kai Yun. Stopping in front of the quarters, I ask him, "Wang Ye, are you well? You didn't get injured anywhere?"

"You need not worry. I am fine," he assures.

"Very well then, good night."

"Sleep well."

Neither of us moved an inch. He is waiting for me to enter the chambers, and I'm waiting for him to depart.

"Wang Ye, I'll wait for you to leave."

He counters, "I'll wait for you to enter."

I'm really not used to this side of him! He's so attentive!

"Ah, please. I will wait for you to leave."

"Xiao Gui, go. Get some sleep." His voice is stern. I know now I can't win and slowly head inside the room. Closing the door, I can see him still standing there.

This is so odd. I feel alive. Much different from when I was wandering as a spirit. I did not breathe, did not feel cold, hot nor tired. But now I can feel the weight of the stress that fell on us this evening. The relief of getting to live another day, lucky enough to endure no pain. Staring at the vanity mirror, it is unreal. I'm looking at Xiao Gui's face but her movement matches mine. Finally getting on the soft bed, I used to only imagine what it felt like to rest on such luxury. The beds in the servant quarters weren't horrible, actually the best I've ever had in my life, but the bedding on this bed is heavenly comfortable. By just closing my eyes, I drift off to sleep.

"Miss Xiao Gui?"

I jerk myself awake, raising my head. "Huh? What?"

Outside the door, a maid says, "Miss Xiao Gui, please convene to the main hall for breakfast with Wang Ye."

"Breakfast?"

I'm still in her body. When will she come back?

I can only do what I must. Preparing for the day, I have to pretend to live as Xiao Gui. At least for now.

I'm entering the main hall not as a servant but as a guest of Wang Ye's. Observing the people who I used to work alongside with bring out the food while keeping their heads low is so weird. Wang Ye drinks his tea, oblivious to my discomfort. Picking up my chopsticks, I don't know where to begin. They've brought out so many dishes, many of which Wang Ye doesn't even touch. Xiao Gui's does have an appetite, so I'll have to eat what I can.

"Wang Ye, has the princess and his highness left?" I ask him, swallowing the piece of stir fry beef in my mouth.

"We thought it was for the best that they go back to the palace." He sets his cup down. Empty, I rise to pour more for him. His eyebrows are arched, amused. Realizing I'm acting off as Xiao Gui, I let out an awkward laugh and sit back down.

Xiao Bai enters the room to place one more dish on the table. My legs want to run to her and my arms want to embrace her one more time. I've really missed her. But I only watch her do her work and she exits.

"Are you feeling okay after last night?" Wang Ye's voice pulls me back to him.

"Yes, Wang Ye. I feel fine."

"It must have been scary. I should have protected you better."

"Wang Ye, it is my duty to protect you."

"You? Protect me?" He smirks.

"I mean- As you are the Wang Ye and member of royal status, I mustn't let you be put in harm's way."

He remarks, "It's nothing but a title."

"But the person is also important!"

He tilts his head with a confused expression. His eyes seem to be illuminated by the light color, the curve of his lips manifesting a playful aura.

I explain myself. "The person- The person attached to the name and title is also important. Very important."

This is the first time I'm talking so much in front of Wang Ye! I feel my tongue getting tired from it!

"I see. It's apparent I am important to Xiao Gui." He nods and crosses his arms.

"Ah, yes. Xiao Gui..."

"I'm afraid we may not have time for lessons today. Due to last night's events along with other things, I have to attend to them." Wang Ye stands, making me stand also out of respect.

"Yes, Wang Ye. It's understandable that you're busy."

Good thing I won't have to play teacher. As a ghost, I actually have no knowledge of the supernatural, pretty much comparable to the average villager of a superstitious town.

Not knowing what to do with myself, I look for chores to carry out. It's what I'm used to, always something to do one after the next. I start sweeping the back courtyard. For a few minutes, I've made some progress. Until Xiao Bai grabs the broom from me and starts sweeping.

"Xiao Bai..."

She ignores me. The swishing sound of the straw broom slides from her sweeping.

I'm right here but feel so far away. Just like with Wang Ye. I feel wrong to be deceiving him. The warmth he's shown me is for Xiao Gui. I want to be the one he smiles for and cares for. Perhaps not in this life.