Lonely Together

21

MARIAH

My body was shaking like crazy as I sat in my car outside of the café, trying to encourage myself to actually go inside and speak to him. I wanted to chalk it up to the chilly early November weather, but I had the heater on in my car. It was just pure nerves causing me to act this way.

With one final sigh, I got out of the car and began walking to the café as slow as possible. I was definitely in no rush.

The bell on top of the door rang as I entered, gaining everyone's attention for a split second before they went back to whatever they were doing when they realized they didn't know me. Everyone except for one man seated near the back of the café, his green eyes locked on my brown ones.

I adverted my gaze as I approached him, pretending I was taking in the decor of the place when really I was just trying to think of all the questions I wanted to ask. I had a lot.

He rushed to pull out my chair for me, which under normal circumstances would make me feel charmed. Today, I just took a seat and waited for him to sit back down to start the conversation.

"You want any coffee?" He questioned, motioning to the front counter.

"Not yet," I muttered bluntly, looking at him with a blank expression that I could tell made him feel guilty. I wanted to say that I didn't care one bit—but the bags under his eyes and the sad look in his eyes contradicted that. "Can you just explain this all to me?"

"Of course," he replied, nodding his head as he seemingly thought about what to say. "By the time I was born, my father had already been the boss for ten years...his father had died in an accident. My whole life I've been surrounded by that...dangerous people, guns, crime...it was normal for me. When I came back to America, I tried to get away from it by going to college and even staying there for two extra years for grad school."

"But when that was done...I knew I had to come back. I started building my real estate businesses here, buying buildings and homes which eventually led to me expanding it across the world...with the help of my father but no intervention from the...organization. But still, I was tied to it in all aspects of my life."

"I'm always on high alert, wondering if someone is going to come after me because they know who I am. Mariah, I'm being honest when I'm telling you that I'm not proud of what my family does...but it's all I know. I should have been honest with you, I know that, but I didn't think you would even give me a chance."

I wanted to laugh at the fact that such an attractive man didn't think I would give him a chance, but then again, here I was sitting in front of him not sure if I should even pursue anything with him.

"Were you not worried about putting me in danger? I didn't ask to be apart of all of this."

"I know," he sighed, running a hand through his curls as his gaze landed on a man seated not far from us. "That man over there is a guard. And three more men in here are. I never go anywhere without guards...and with you I only increased them. We never went anywhere together without guards being close by. I didn't put you in any danger Mariah, I prevented it until...the night I got arrested."

"Do you still have to try to fight this case or something? Are you just out on bail?" I questioned monotonously, not wanting to seem affected by anything he had just said. Still, I was a little moved by the fact that he even went as far as to increase security for me.

"No. They have no evidence of me doing anything wrong...I keep all my business separate from anything to do with the organization. I do everything legally," he told me, his eyes locked on mine as he said this, looking as downcast as I had ever seen him.

"I-I...I don't know what you want me to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Mariah. I just wanted to tell you everything and answer your questions," he told me, leaning onto the table a bit so that he was closer to me.

"I want to learn more about this before I make a choice. I want you to prove that you're not doing anything illegal, I want to see firsthand what goes on. I want to know that I'm really not in danger."

"I understand. I'll do anything to help you understand...I swear. I just...," he paused, rubbing the stubble on his chin as he looked up at the ceiling. "I miss you."

I couldn't lie—as soon as he said that it felt like someone was squeezing my heart, a pain that I hadn't felt in months. It was something that I never wanted to feel again, and I could only imagine that I would feel it again if I went any farther with him.

"Take as much time as you need to think about it. I'm not going to rush you, Mariah. Just let me know what you want to see and ask any questions."

"Have you ever killed anyone?" I questioned, biting my lip as I anxiously waited for his answer. I had a feeling that answer would be a 'yes'.

"No. I haven't...I can't," he admitted, looking pained once again as he ran his hand through his hair once more.

I nodded as we fell into silence, both of us looking everywhere but at each other. It was crazy to think that just a week ago he had taken me on the best date of my life—for multiple reasons—and now there was such a great awkwardness and tension between us. The tension was so thick that it probably couldn't even be cut with a knife—maybe a diamond.

"You still gonna buy me that coffee?" I questioned suddenly, watching as he brought his eyes back up to mine, a slight smile growing on his face as he nodded. I didn't return the smile.

"Almond milk, four pumps of caramel, no added sugar," he recited from memory after the times I made him get me that coffee the mornings we had breakfast at his place. Even the fact that he remembered that made me want to swoon.

He came back with my coffee shortly, reaching out to hand it to me which made our fingers touch. It sent a chill down my spine.

"Does your family sell drugs? Kidnap people? Sell guns? What do they do?"

"My grandfather sold drugs as well as guns, money laundering, and illegal gambling, but after he died my father decided to stop and focus on guns mostly. There's only money laundering and gambling still involved...but Mariah, I need you to promise me that nothing I tell you leaves this table unless you're discussing it with me. It could put you in real danger."

"Fine, I promise, whatever. But...you never answered my question. Do they kidnap and...kill people?"

"They only kidnap and kill bad guys. People who do them wrong or do others wrong...people who harm innocent people."

"Are you guys not the bad guys?"

"No."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at his words as I watched his nostrils flare in what seemed to be anger. I had clearly struck a nerve.

"What? You think I'm a bad person now?" He questioned, his voice sounding much deeper now as his accent somehow came on much stronger.

"Yeah. I kinda do right now."

"You weren't saying that last week when you were telling me how great I was and moaning my damn name," he snapped, scrunching up his face at me.

As much as I wanted to storm away from the table, I knew he was speaking solely out of anger. I could tell he had a temper—and he wasn't lying.

"I wouldn't have been if I knew who you really were."

"You do know who I really am. You do. I want to prove myself to you again."