Bees & Honey [H.S]

Chapter 64

Once again we joined in. We sang it to a ridiculous extent, really feeling it in our chests as it once again raised in tone. Soon laughs influenced the harmonies. Tom took his phone with an ongoing recording, putting it on the middle of the kitchen table. I knew that recording in itself would be a fun one listening back on, all of us acting silly. Joyous was the right word. It just felt so joyous.

"Da da da dada." I cut off from the harmonies while they continued, almost cheering the words with a wide childish beam. Soon they silenced their harmonies, singing like instruments instead around the acoustics of my guitar. I snickered between my singing before taking a breath, going back to a very fresh memory of golden silk reflecting the sun in its mess that blew around her face beautifully, causing her to beam in only the way the sun could.

Golden, golden, golden as I open my eyes

Hold it, focus, hoping, take me back to the light

She took me by surprise. But ever since, life only got brighter and brighter. It was the best thing that had happened to me in a while, or even ever. She was the best thing that had and could've happened to me. The surprise and my obsession with her in the beginning made me fearfully want to hold onto it. I have never wanted something- or someone so badly. It caused me to maybe hold onto it too tightly. But as I realised that, I tried to snap myself out of it and to regain focus. Nonetheless, I never stopped hoping. Even worse so when I lost it, only wanting to return to it, to her brightness and light. Her radiance being unmatched. 

I know you were way too bright for me

I'm hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky

The line from the song Bianca had played, "When you're trying your best, you reach for the sky. But hope is no longer there in your eyes, then you know baby, I'll be there for you" was stuck in my head. It had really affected me, inspiring my own lines.

I knew I was hopelessly waiting, but I'd do anything to be worthy of her and I knew I was doomed to chase her and her everlasting glow. You had to be out of your mind to try and chase the sun, and yes I was. I was hopelessly, desperately, recklessly, head over heels for her... Because I was sunkissed. I knew the sun was unattainable, but I'd happily spent a lifetime chasing the sun.

Brown my skin just right

You're so golden

I spoke from my own adoration, playing on the words I had spoken to Bianca just earlier about how I was happy just whenever I got a moment in her warmth, because she really did always know how to make me the happiest. It was just that with her, right.

"Ha!" Tyler yelled along with a fake beat of a drum that he mimicked, cutting it off perfectly.

"Da da da dada!" Tom quickly added on in a playful cheer, continuing it on a loop like I had before.

"You're so golden." Us other three sang in choir, laughing as we did before I added, "I'm out of my head, and I know that you're scared because hearts get broken." tying the knot together with a summary of my own feelings from the first verse. But more importantly, capturing the frustration and the endless chase by ending the chorus with the only feeling I knew from her perspective.

"I don't wanna be alone, I don't wanna be alone when it ends" Mitch began the second verse to the strumming of my guitar. I knew exactly what he was thinking. Not only did we get each other, but he knew me, and he had been there from the beginning. So, I continued on what I knew he was thinking of.

Don't wanna let you know, I don't wanna be alone

I was taken back to me and Mitch in my kitchen, me reaching for straws to pull me out of my misery by giving him a bullshit speech about how I needed a distraction for me not to dwell in it. But I knew that was bullshit. Not my need for it- that was true. What was bullshit was that I was so convinced that it would work. Of course it wouldn't. I was just too proud to admit it for myself. And still to this day, I still didn't want to admit that to Bianca. Because even then, she had me wrapped around her finger.