Bees & Honey [H.S]

Chapter 11

Somewhere from a distance I heard a beeping sound. I tried opening my eyes, but they didn't want to collaborate. I rubbed them but regretted it quickly, as they were sensitive to my touch. This was the aftermath of last night's crying party. I took my phone and shushed the alarm, but when I saw that I was still in a call my heart stopped.

"You up?" A raspy voice asked from the other side of the line. I tried smiling, but I hurt doing so. Happiness was a distinct feeling that my body and soul couldn't comprehend at the moment.

"Yes." I said, trying to remember what happened last night, without remembering what happened last night. "Did you really stay awake this whole time?" I asked, surprised.

"It was only like an hour and a half, but yes." He chuckled with a tired and low tone. As if his voice wasn't already deep...

"Did you get any sleep?" He asked me, the lighthearted tone now being influenced by some concern.

"Yes, thank you Harry." I tried to express my gratitude. If he hadn't been there for me I don't know if I ever would have calmed down. Last night was just a spirale of sadness, and me falling deeper and deeper into that hole. Last night he had been my light in the darkness my mind had tried to keep me in.

"Don't thank me." He brushed it off, but even if I didn't see him I could sense a hint of a smile in his words.

"I already did." I tried teasing, but as the words escaped my mouth the heart behind the witty comeback didn't really match up. The energy for a good banter wasn't there yet. Harry noticed so he just kindly giggled, not ignoring what I said but not taking it further either.

I placed the phone down next to the basin, keeping him on speaker as I tried to get ready for work. When I looked in the mirror I met a pair of puffy and red light turquoise eyes. My plump lips were even more plump now. The sight of miserable me almost made me tear up again. I hated seeing me like this.

"You can go to bed now if you want." I attempted at reassuring him, and I was jealous of him. All I wanted was to drag the covers over my head and escape the world today, but I knew that wasn't possible. Me from the past had predicted that that would be all I wanted to do today, but knew that it was a horrible idea, so my day was already filled to the brim with plans. The first one being work, as usual.

"Not yet, I want to hear you walk out the door first." He declined softly, and it warmed my broken parts. But I knew that if I was supposed to get through the day I couldn't allow myself to feel just yet.

So I tried covering up the signs of last night with a heavy layer of concealer. The energy to pick out a good outfit was low, so I settled for a simple black sweater paired with dark blue flared jeans and my typical mary janes. Harry had tried making small talks as I got ready, and I was grateful for the distraction. But now I was stood in front of the door.

"The bed is calling for you." I announced while looking down at my feet, realising how tough it actually felt to say goodbye to Harry. I had welcomed his distraction, but it was first now that I realised I also enjoyed his company and presence. It did not only make me ignore the hurt, it eased the hurt as well.

"No, I said I was fine. I want to wait until you're on your way." He stated, stubborn and firmly. I heard how he adjusted himself on the other end. It sounded like he was already in bed, which made this whole thing both funnier and also wholesome.

"I'm at the door now, ready to leave." I said, and from what I was able to pick up on, to his disappointment.

"Oh, okay..." He said, holding on to the last bit and not really trying to say goodbye. "Are you sure you're going to be okay today? I can meet you after work if you want company?" He suggested, the concern now back in his tone.