Bees & Honey [H.S]

Chapter 42

Bianca's POV

The weeks had gone by. Time was moving along, and so was everyday life. I had spent most of my time at my mum's house, and if I wasn't there I was either at Jack's or in the pub with Casper, but still staying away from alcohol. Simply I had surrounded myself with people who were important to me and could be there for me, while also distracting me.

My parents had been asking me why I came over several times a week now when I normally visited them once a week at most. But neither of them complained. My answer always was that Casper and Jack were too busy with work at the moment to hang out with me as often as before. I knew they didn't buy it, but it was a good enough answer for them to let it go for a little while.

However, my plan worked. With the leaves falling from the trees, losing all their warm colours that so beautifully dressed them for a little while, I was now starting to feel better. It had been a month since the phone call, and still nothing. It was hard for me to accept it in the beginning, most of the days I went around waiting for him to reach out a hand and say that he didn't mean what he said, or just a simple sorry would've been enough. But when I realised it wouldn't come, I spared me the energy.

Even with just a small sorry I would've forgiven him in a heartbeat for his hurtful words, for I could never be angry with him... Even if I really wanted to be. I knew I said hurtful words too, and I knew my timing was awful, but I wasn't the one, or had never been the one out of us, to come for the other while they were their most vulnerable. I had always only tried to reconcile and avoid any more pain on him. The difference between us was that he did the opposite. Not only did he cause me more pain than I already was in, or would be from being rejected, but it hit just the right spot for the sensitive and insecure part.  And that was beyond what I had ever done to him, even I was in the wrong for letting that part of me hurt him at the start.

Thankfully I had Max who reminded me of what my true lesson with all of this was whenever I needed it, which was often in the beginning. Now, I had come past that. It still required work to fully live by it, but I didn't feel sad all the time nowadays.

Work wasn't rough on me anymore, which made it easier not to feel sad at all times. On my way there I now always looked forward to it, just like I had before. The love I had for my work was back, and whenever the bad feelings sneaked up on me I converted them to work harder and better.

With 'Dance On Through' by The Human Beinz just starting to play in my headphones I rounded the corner to the BBC building, hugging my coat tighter around me to keep me warm. I chuckled for myself, ironic that my playlist decided to shuffle that one... Not only was the title ironically funny, but I laughed to myself at the lyrics playing in my ears as I stepped into the warmth.

After giving the receptionist a smile I stepped into the office, walked down the hallway and then settled my bag down by my desk as I said hi to my colleagues around me, making morning small talk.

I opened up my laptop to spend the first hour checking off all the administration for the day so that I could focus on emails when I joined Grimmy in the studio for The Breakfast Show. This week I was assigned to Grimmy for the first time since we wrapped Harry Styles at The BBC. It was a special day today. It was a day I've looked forward to my whole career in Radio. Today was going to be the first time I would've been a part of the playlist that we streamed for the show. Excited was an understatement. I had been counting down the days for this ever since our saturday work, and Grimmy had made sure that I was there to join him in the studio for the special day.

Joggling my cup of tea and the laptop, I skittered to meet up with Grimmy, who I hadn't seen yet this morning. When I opened up the door to the studio I was immediately met with his everlasting glee. It was easy defining your work as your happy place when you were surrounded by happy people to get inspired by.