Not Willing To Love Again

Chapter 53

Edward P.O.V

Matthew stood frozen when we entered the room. Bella was laying on the bed, her face was pail white. So pail, it could look like snow. Her eyes had a shadow of black. She looked skinnier. Her lips dry. Her hair was messy and her breathing was slow. There was new blankets and the old ones were on a plastic bag, covered in blood. Esme picks it up and walks out.

Next to Bella, connected to her arm was the IVY and the heart monitor.

Bella shifted a little and her tired eyes landed on us. Her breathing picks up again. Matthew lets go of my hand and runs up to her and hugs her. Bella starts crying.

"Matthew, be careful," I said, walking up to them.

He pulls away and sits on the ground, taking her hand. Bella smiles down at him, kissing his hand. I walk up to her with Beth between my arms.

"There's someone who wants to meet you," I said.

Bella reaches out for her. I give her to Bella, who starts tearing up again.

"You're so beautiful," Bella sobbed. "My beautiful Beth."

"Our beautiful Beth," I said, stroking Beth's cheek.

Bella looks at me for a second and looks back at Matthew. There's something wrong here, I just can't put my finger on it. Bella doesn't seem right. Well, she did just woke up from a horrible birth and lost a lot of blood.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked, grabbing her cold hand in mine. I bring it to my lips and kiss it softly and blow warm air on it, giving her warmth.

"I'm okay," she says, "but, we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Later," she said, looking back at Beth, who sleeps in her arms.

Bella P.O.V

I spent most of the day with Edward, Matthew and Beth. I was happy, happy to finally have my little girl with me. The pain I went through, I would go through it ten more times for Beth, for Matthew, for Edward. I still couldn't believe that Edward... He's Matthew's real dad. The one he's been looking for his entire life and he's been with him all this time without even knowing. I feel that the worst part is that Edward, in the beginning, treated him horribly, how will Matthew feel knowing that Edward is he biological father? And Kate, how will he feel knowing his mom left him because she was dying?

"Okay, Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked, placing Beth in her crib next to me. He sighs and sits next to me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"I mean, that you've been avoiding looking at me in the eyes and acting distant since I walked through that door with Beth and Matthew." He sits next to me and says, "is it because I didn't make it on time?"

"God, no, Edward," I snap, "not at all. Damn, I just came out of a horrible labor! I look like the fucking Walking Dead, how am I suppose to act?!"

"Sh!" He snapped. "Bella, I know that that's not the truth. You're a horrible liar, tell me what happened."

I sigh, taking the letter that's under my pillow. He frowned at me, looking at the envelope that's in my hands.

"Marcus' mother called, she said she needed to pick up the rest of his stuff, but you said no one from his family is aloud back in the ranch, Irina and I decided to pack the rest of his stuff and give it to her," I explained. "I took one of his shirts and this," I point at the envelope in my hands, "fell. I don't know why he had it but he did."

"What is it?" He asked.

"It's a letter from Kate, she wrote it back in 2010. It's for you," I give it to him.

He takes it, still frowning.

I see shock in his eyes while he reads the letter. The letter that finally explains who's Matthew and what happened to Kate when she disappeared.

After finishing the letter, Edward sits there, without saying a word.

"Matthew is your son, isn't he?" I said, placing my hand on his.

"This can't be true," he said. He suddenly stands up and has an expression that says he wants to punch something. He ends up punching the wall. Beth starts groaning from her crib.

Just when I'm about to get up, he stops me and he holds her.

"Carlisle said you need to stay in bed," he said. "Fuck," he carried her. "Why didn't she tell me? Things for Matthew would've been so much easier if she told me."

"She did," I said, "but Marcus somehow knew about the letter and took it."

"I'm going to fucking kill him," he growled.

"No, you're not, Edward," I said. "Look, babe, I know you're mad. I would be, too. But, just think about it, okay? Matthew, he's your son. He's been wanting to meet you ever since he had conscious of what's going on in his life."

"I know but... I was broken back when Matthew came into my life. I treated him like an animal, I let him sleep next to the barn where the horses shit."

"Edward." I try to get up but he stops me once again. "Edward, listen: you didn't know. Marcus took that advantage for someone reason. Same when he tried to hurt Matthew, when he hurt me and when he contaminated the meat with the virus..."

Suddenly, I shut myself up. Memories come up to my mind. One in which was when I was trying to escape the ranch to talk to Jacob. He said he had respect for Edward. There are so many things that he did to show he had respect for Edward and this ranch, why would he try to destroy him and his family.

"That's weird, all this time Marcus said he had respect for you," I said.

"Yeah, that's why I trusted him," Edward said. "He was one of my loyal workers until he said the truth."

"No, no, Edward, there's something weird here," I said. "If he said he had respect for you, why would he betray you? Plus, he confessed out of nowhere. He just came and shouted it out, don't you think that's weird?"

"What are you trying to say Bella?"

"I mean, what if Marcus didn't do all this?"

"What? Bella, the letter-"

"Edward, what if someone tried to set him up so you think you already found the one causing all this problems. Taking that away, it leaves us with the guard down, then Boom! Something worse happens. What if Marcus didn't do all this?"

If Marcus didn't do all this, then who did? Why did he have this letter? Who tried to hurt Matthew? Murder me? Contaminate the meat with a virus? Who's trying to hurt us? What is it that they want?

March 4, 2015

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~Joan0324