My Idol (Xingyun)

Chapter 18: Bricks of Guilt

Hey besties!

Tw: slight abuse and manipulation/gaslighting. This will be a very heavy hearted chapter...

Song: Run Away/Nine and Three Quarters by TXT
Art: @knknymns

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Chongyun came home to an empty house, both parents working and not coming home any time soon.

He sighed.

This time, he went to his bed and crawled under his covers, feeling too tired to do anything productive.

He fell asleep almost instantly, which was very unlike him.

After sleeping a few hours, Chongyun woke up to the smell of food cooking.

He didn't bother getting up as he wasn't even hungry. His mother would bring it to him anyways.

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Weeks passed and Chongyun was feeling more and more less motivated and depressed.

He was so sleepy all the time and always wanted to be in his bed.

Getting up in the morning was getting so hard and even eating was a challenge, never mind showering and doing normal human necessities.

He cried more than once almost every day, his heart aching and mind wandering back to Xingqiu.

It was always about Xingqiu.

He hadn't checked his messages in about a month, knowing there would be hundreds of notifications from Xiangling, Hu Tao, and Xingqiu.

Speaking of Xingqiu, he had come out with a new song during the time they hadn't seen each other.

It was... Sad... And it broke his heart every time he listened to it.

Chongyun was constantly listening to his music, it was the only way he could somehow be close to Xingqiu.

Whenever he cried, it was always silent, making sure no one could hear him.

He was pretty sure his dad had started drinking again. It was just another reason not to go downstairs.

His mother was still playing victim. She would get angry at him every time he disagreed with anything she suggested. Chongyun was afraid of her.

She had slapped him once more for saying he didn't want to eat. She said that she worked so hard just to come home and cook for a son who didn't even want to eat.

Maybe she was doing a good thing, forcing him to eat.

But the thing was, he just threw it up later. His stomach wouldn't keep any food for some reason, but Chongyun didn't care.

Nothing really mattered. He was even more emotionless than ever except for the times he would secretly cry.

He didn't feel like going to his classes. Zhongli had emailed him telling him to get better. He had filled him in on what they were doing in class. Miss Lisa and Miss Mona did the same.

Another brick of guilt was placed on Chongyun's heart. His teachers were doing everything in their power to keep him afloat and help him get better.

He was already drowning in guilt though. He was a burden to his teachers. They were going out of their way to help him and he wasn't doing anything in return.

Today he couldn't get out of bed. He tried, but he just couldn't.

It was so hard to keep carrying on. Xingqiu was probably doing fine, he had probably already moved on. Maybe he really didn't like him from the start and Chongyun was only a play thing to him.