how it all started .

thirty one

[[another cliffhanger back there haha]]

"Jack what're you doing here?" I asked, I let him in and we plopped on the couch.

"Helping you make a better decision... I read aaron and your texts and knew you were here... Now I'm persuading you to come back on tour."

He grinned.

"No jack I'm not going back."

"Why?!" He yelled angrily.

"Why can't you come back?! Because of Cameron?! Because you have to see him every single day of your fucking life and you push him away?! You can't go to Nash or Matt ... Maybe you love one of them, or at least think you do. But they don't love you and that's something you've got to learn to live with..."

He walked out of my house before I could say anything and before he did he threw a piece of paper down.

What's with boys and writing notes?

I read it.

Mere,
Come back to the tour. We can't live without you. I'm writing this to you while I'm on the plane and trust me I'm going to yell something at you and I'm gonna be really serious. So if I ever give this to you I meant what I said. Cameron loves you. Just let him explain... Ok bye.

I smiled as the tears met my skin.

*
It was three days after jack g showed up at my house... I was currently sitting at the Carpenters house asking them for advice.

"I think you should go back... Aaron texted me immediately about it and regretted ever calling Bart..." Dustin said quietly.

"It's whatever you want. If you don't feel safe there then don't. Maybe you need time... whatever's best." Mrs. Carpenter said rubbing my back.

"I-I think I'll go back."

Not really because I want to but because I want answers about this guy and I want to talk to him.

^time passed^

I walked through Orlando's airport at three o'clock in the morning.. I called the first person I thought of to pick me up but joe didn't answer.

Next I tried him.

He answered.

"Hello?" He said in his scratchy groggily voice.

"Hey, I'm at the airport. Can you pick me up?" I said sitting at a Starbucks.

"You're what?!" He said freaking out. "Of course I will. I'll be there in fifteen minutes... Is that okay?"

I giggled. "Yes it's fine."

I heard a sigh of relief from the other end and I smiled to myself.

We hung up at the same time and I ordered my drink.

*

"Hey, thank you so much for coming."
"No problem, you should've told everyone you were coming."

"I know it was just so last minute."

He nodded and grabbed my bag as we made our way to his car.

As we drove on the road I looked at his face and at his features while he was concentrated on the road...

His eyes were full of emotion, sadness, anger, disappointment, sorry, loss, hurt , pain and heart break...

"I hope you know the hotel is an hour away... I was at my friends house." He said looking at me.

I laughed at him and turned to the front window. "It's fine." Is all I choked up.

It wasn't awkward but it wasn't enjoyable, we just played music the whole time.

*

I woke up in my bed, I checked the time... 9am. dammit.

There was a note on the nightstand and I read it.

dear Meredith,
If you ever do come back I want you to read this... I love you so much, you are a huge deal to me and I'm so glad you're in my life, I think we all are... By the time you're reading this I'm hoping it's the 15 or 16. If so accompany the family in the dining hall at 10am.
Love, you're little brother, Hayes.

I smiled.

Surprisingly it was the 16 and I'm pretty sure Cameron told them that I was back since he picked me up last night to I jumped up and got ready.

I put on high waisted black shorts, a black long sleeved cropped top, a flannel tied around my waist and red high top converse.

I kept my hair natural and didn't bother putting on much makeup.

^time passed^

I walked through the hallway, it was currently 9:58 and I read the sign for the dining hall.

I opened the door and it was quiet and empty.

"Hello?" I called.

"WELCOME BACK!"

I laughed, it had only been a week or less.

"Thanks Hayes."

I hugged him and he squeezed me tight. "Your note made me smile."

He smiled big and I laughed a his cheesiness.

"Meredith Leigh."
"Matthew Lee."

He side hugged me. "Miss you kid." I said kissing his cheek.

He turned his head the other way and Taylor laughed at him.

"MATT IS BLUSHING!" He screamed.

"Am not."
"Are too."

They went on for a while until we all sat down for a family breakfast.

"So how was home?" Aaron asked me.

"It was quiet and kind of the same as it used to be..." I took a second. "I visited your family. They're doing great. They said they all love you."

A smile from ear to ear spread across his face.

^time passed^

I stood on the roof of the hotel leaning on the railing letting the wind hit my skin.

"It's beautiful isn't it."

I didn't want to turn around so I just kept staring at he city. "Yeah."

"Cameron's over you... Just because he hated himself, does not mean pouring more of your love will fix him. You will only walk away emptier. And I think you keep giving him a sense that you still love him and I know you do but he doesn't love you anymore and I think that's a reason it's awkward..."

"And how do you know if he's over me or not?" I asked getting angry.

"He has a girlfriend."

I could hear my heart breaking, my throat swelled and at this point I don't think I had anymore tears left.

"And I didn't want to be the one to tell you because I really really really do like you but no one else would so cam told me to tell you. And I'm so sorry."

I turned to face the mystery guy and broke down when I saw the face...

I hadn't talked to him for a while. I pushed and pushed and pushed all of the guys away and I'm done with it.

Shawn held me in his embrace and held a kiss on my forehead.

Me and shawn had a chemistry that wasn't the same with everyone else's. We've literally been through the worlds hardest stuff together and I just pushed him away after that.

"I'm so sorry." I croaked.
"Don't be." He whispered kissing my nose.