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Fifty

"And that's really sweet of you-" 

He sighed. "Look if you ain't want me to, that's fine-" 

"No! No, I think this is a good discussion worth having but I just... I don't want you to regret it and end up feelin' like you're taking care of all these kids that aren't your own."

"Baby, I could never feel like that. I don't care if he's mine or not, at the end of the day he's yours, and that's all I need to wanna be his dad."

I gifted him a small, empathetic smile. "Well, he does love you as if you are his dad." 

He smiled back, mirroring mine with a shy, boyish grin. "You think?" 

I laughed at his obvious excitement. "Of course he does!" Moving in between his legs to get closer to him, I gently ran both of my hands over his thighs. "So, I mean, if this is somethin' you really wanna do-" 

"I do." He stated as his hands found mine, interlocking our fingers. 

I smiled. "And if you really love Isaiah like that-" 

"I do." He blared through my sentence once more. 

"Then yeah, I'd love for you to adopt him. You're such a good dad, and I know your heart is in the right place with this, so I'm okay with it as long as you are?" 

"Baby, I swear to god I am. I wanna do this so badly, and honestly I've wanted to do this since you told me you were pregnant. Even if he ain't biologically mine, I don't care. That's my kid as far as I'm concerned." 

I laughed. "After you taught him how to piss standin' up, that's when he became yours." 

A playful scoff rushed through his nose as he released my hands, allowing me to continue getting ready for bed as he leaned back against the mirror. "I don't know..." He trailed off as if he was thinking. "I just hope that when he gets older, y'know, he doesn't look at me with like, resentment."

"Resentment?" My eyebrows knitted together. "Why would he ever look at you with resentment?" 

"I don't know, 'cause I'm technically his step-dad, right? Step-dads are notoriously the worst. And I just ain't want him lookin' at me like I'm some dude who just moved in on his mom and his happy family, y'know? 'Cause if Devon was actually a decent and present dad, I wouldn't feel the need to do this... But I just know, y'know, how hard it was for us growin' up without dads, and if I'm capable, and a good parent, then I just wanna be able to give that like, male presence to both Lainey and him, y'know? 'Cause I got so much fuckin' love to give these kids, and I just feel like, at the very least... they deserve that much, y'know?"

I smiled softly. "Marshall, you are the sweetest, most genuine human I know. Isaiah, nor Lainey, could ever feel like that because for one, that just isn't true. There was no happy family you broke up, we didn't even get back together until I had been back for a year, you know? And also too... Isaiah barely remembers Devon, Marshall. And it makes me really sad to admit to that, but it's true. Go ask him about his daddy, he remembers that he's tall and has a beard. So no, I don't think he could ever look at you negatively. He loves you too much, and he knows that you love him. Biology doesn't matter. What matters is who was there for you as a kid, and that's you for Isaiah." 

"Fuck, I hope so... 'Cause that would really fuckin' kill me if he just woke up one day when he's older and... And hates me."