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Twenty One

February, 1994

It had been over eight months since Sharonda essentially told me to break up with Marshall, and I swear not a single day went by where I didn't think about that conversation over and over again. Although, I had been thinking about it even more recently since I had officially sent off my application to Juilliard last month and I'm just so worried about what's gonna happen with me and Marshall. 

I most certainly don't wanna break up with him, but I really worry about how sustainable we're gonna be when I'm in a whole different state, and I can only talk to him over the phone maybe a few times a day? I think it would be way easier if we were in a good place, and I could leave knowing we're doing well, and that I wouldn't have anything to worry about. But I can't. We're not in a good place, this move is just gonna put even more stress on us, and I'm not sure we can survive it. But regardless, all I know is I want to try. I want to try so badly. I love him so much, and I'm always gonna love him. I can't let him go without even trying, him and our relationship mean far too much to me for me to just give up. 

He's still been really angry about Juilliard though. When I dropped off my application to the post office, he was absolutely furious. I know where he's coming from in the sense of he doesn't want me to leave, I think he's really scared to be here without me, and I am too. I'm terrified to be without him, but I deserve this. I deserve to do something with my life that's bigger than just teaching bratty kids and stripping on the side. He wants to do something bigger, so why can't I? 

Even though I was so close to Juilliard I could taste it, it was still a year away so I was having to just work everyday like normal. Today was no different, and I was currently in the middle of my 16-17 year old class. The new season had just started in January, so they were all still learning the new routine by following along with me. 

The room was full of mirrors, and I had my front facing them with my back turned towards the girls so I could not only watch them, but watch myself to make sure I was doing everything correctly as well. Midway through the second full run, I saw one of the big doors slightly open at the back of the room and a hooded figure walked in. Marshall? I tried my best to ignore him so I wouldn't mess up and could remain focused, but out the corner of my eye I saw him go sit down on one of the chairs that the parents sometimes sit in when they wanna watch. 

I continued on to the end of the song, but I was just so confused as to why he was here? He's only ever been to the studio maybe once or twice when he's come with me to just pick up random things that I had left by accident. He's never even seen me dance before, well in a professional setting that is, so why's he here now? Is something wrong? 

After we were done the full run through, I turned back around to face the girls. "Okay that was really good so far! I still have a few things I wanna add, and Kaitlyn and Tanya I think I wanna rearrange you two, but why don't we take ten first?" I said sort of loudly so everyone would be able to hear me, since the room was really massive and there was about twenty girls in there. They all nodded and scattered towards the sides where their water bottles and duffle bags were. 

I smiled at Marshall and started walking towards him. "What are you doing here?" I asked happily.

He shrugged. "Just wanted to come watch." He said as I sat down beside him. 

"How come? Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah, I just ain't ever seen you dance before so I wanted to come see." 

I smiled. "Well what did you think?" 

He returned my smile with a soft one. "You're really good Ti." His voice sounded genuine.