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Seventeen

March, 1992

Me and Ti have still been arguing like crazy recently, and it honestly really fucking sucks. I just get so annoyed by any little thing she does that pisses me off, and it sends me into a giant rage. I don't know why we've been fighting so much, and it's not even just her. I always used to fight with my mom, but it's gotten way worse ever since Ronnie died. I don't understand how Ronnie dying would cause all of this though. It's been three months. I barely even cry about it anymore, so I really don't understand what my problem is. Ti says she thinks I'm depressed, but its comments like that that cause us to fight. It's almost like she's implying I'm acting the same way Ronnie did near the end of his life, and that is most definitely not fucking true. I'm not depressed, she just knows how to hit my fucking buttons. And so does my mom. 

I've been back at work now since shortly after New Years, but I just haven't been working as much is all. I was working today though and then Doody was supposed to come pick me up and we were gonna go back to my place and play video games. Pepper used to never trust him with her car, but I guess as of recently she's been letting him use it more and more so he'd been offering to pick everybody up. I personally think he was just so excited to actually be able to drive, and I still couldn't afford a car so i'd definitely been taking advantage of his car privileges. 

My shift ended at three, so I went to my locker, grabbed my stuff, and then headed out towards the door after saying bye to everyone. I walked outside and saw Doody sitting in the parking lot, blaring his music, and bobbing his head to the beat as he waited. I ran over towards him and he quickly unlocked the door. 

"Yo." I said as I slid into the passenger side. 

"Dawg have you heard this shit?!" He yelled over the music as he turned it up even louder. I shook my head and started listening intently as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

"Oh shit is this Dr. Dre?!" I said excitedly. I had known that Dr. Dre was supposed to come out with his first solo record this year, but I had completely forgotten about it since I had been so caught up with everything going on. DeShaun just nodded with a huge smile on his face as he handed me the cassette cover that the tape had come in. "This is fuckin' dope!" I yelled over the music as I looked at the cover. 

We both just continued bobbing our heads and listening until DeShaun pulled up to the McDonalds drive thru and turned down the music. "You want anything?" He turned to me. 

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm good. Ti's gonna kill me if I ain't eat the left over spaghetti she made."  

He nodded and drove up the speaker. After he put his order in he drove up a few inches and we were now stuck in a line up of from what I could see, about four cars. "How ya'll been doin' anyway? You still fightin'?" He asked as we continued to wait. 

I groaned. "Yeah, I don't know what our fuckin' problem is. I just have like this fuckin' animosity towards her for no reason."

He nodded. "Do you think you're like, I don't know, maybe resenting her a little bit?" 

I scoffed. "I don't know, I think she fuckin' resents me though." 

"Nah I mean like, do you think you blame her?" 

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "For what?" 

He shrugged. "Well I just mean, you know, she's the one who had to tell you about Ronnie." 

"Okay sure, but someone was gonna have to tell me about Ronnie?"