Not a Bestseller

Submission

There comes a point when you just know. My chest should've hurt the next day, but it didn't. I had lost the most important person in my life, yet, an odd sense, like a cloud floating over a meadow, filled the vacancy. (That and the beating drum in my head due to an extreme lack of sleep. I've been living off of Tylenol, ibuprofen, and antidepressants. Nothing helps.)

I went to three graduation ceremonies that year, where I learned everyone's last names. Austin Hopper-Hooper graduated from Wildwood High School. Stuart Phear graduated from Nuke's School for Boys. Valerie Blythe, Brooke Eada, Joey Henderson, Leah Parks, Alexander Khalpesh, and Julia White graduated from Delcoph High School. Dr. White's therapy program would continue with me, Kimberly Galinksi, and Willie Zhang as its returning members. Kim had started outreach to increase membership. 

Graduation plans? Austin was going halfway across the country on his pre-college road trip tomorrow. He says he wants to go to film school—I didn't know he owned a camera. Stuart was still Stuart, but now he was going to be a Stuart in college. Julia, Alexander, and Brooke were looking at dorm rooms. Joey and Leah, having graduated with honors and perfect ACT scores, were going to Yale together. I'd be left with the two kids I ignored all year: Kim and Willie.

Never before had a semester felt so much like a decade. 

"Alright, we'll pick you up tonight," Austin said, "Be ready."

"What time?" I asked.

Stuart snorted, "Listen for the horn. We'll try not to sound like an amber alert or anything."

Before I could react further, he and Stuart marched off towards the car. 

We'd agreed to have one last get together tonight before Austin leaves. The last thing I wanted to do was get out of the house and have a good time, but I surrendered for Austin's sake. The kid was going to be so lost without his quiet friend to vent to.

At least, that's what he'd said to guilt me into it.

I knew I was going to miss him. Heck, I was even going to miss the whiny psychopath named Stuart. Double heck, I would miss half the kids that gave me dirty looks when I'd sneak through the halls every day.

Time slipped from my head as it had been a lot lately. When I opened my eyes from a blink, I found a pink head next to mine. No. I don't want to do this.

Not yet.

"This...kind of sucks," Valerie said. "I finally find a decent guy and now I've gotta leave you."

I felt myself smile. "You know where to find me."

"It was quite the fling," she laughed. "I mean, we went so wild. With, like, two real dates, one hand holding session, and therapy? It's amazing we made it out with our souls." (I used italics for the "and" here because I couldn't figure out her tone on that particular word.)

I leaned against the bench. How did I get here again? I glanced to my left to find Valerie's gigantic RV.

Wait, was she leaving...now?

That's right, she was going on a road trip too, off to California to revolutionize the fashion industry.

My chest sunk. Our relationship was a distraction from the bigger picture, but I liked this girl. She had gone out of her way to make me comfortable whenever we were together. No one has ever done that. Not to mention, she gave me my first date, first school dance, and first real non-therapy-related friend.

It's no wonder I hate hellos. They only lead to goodbyes. And goodbyes suck.

When I looked at her again, her eye makeup had smudged. It was never messed up unintentionally. "I mean where else am I supposed to find a guy who's nice enough to pretend to care about what I say and actually has an appreciation for fashion but is actually straight and stuff and...dang it, Ben. We were supposed to be a fling and now you've got me all emotionally attached you jerk."