CountryHuman OneShots

Vent

Yeah I am very sorry about this. Mental health hasn't been the greatest, and it doesn't help that I relapsed again, so imma write a vent from Germany's perspective, but third person (or is it second person?).

WARNING: blood, self-harm, self-depreciation, attempted suicide. It is extremely graphic what I write, I used to write gore scenes all the time but now I only do it when my mental health gets real low.

He stood in front of the mirror, knife in hand as he swallowed the lump in his throat. The door was locked. Even if his father came back from work early, he wouldn't care to check the bathroom. He looked at his hands. They trembled with fear to die. They trembled with excitement of seeing his brother and uncle again.

It was now or never, he had to do it today whilst his father was at work.

He made the knife go across the side of his wrist, gritting his sharp teeth together as blood started trickling out. The pain relieved tension, it relieved the pain inside, now flowing down both sides of his wrist. He watched in wonder as it started to drip, before he felt the anxiety rise up in him again. He needed more. Much, much more.

He switched hands, and started to slice his right wrist more open. One for being useless. One for being a fat pig. One for being a disappointment to his father. Another for making his father hate him. Another for being a workaholic. One more for being a disabled prick. Another for failing to go through conversion therapy.

He made them go deeper, going up and up his arms before running out of room. Now heavily panting with the amount of blood that was pouring down his body, he took his shirt off before starting to cut into his non-existing stomach. For East. For letting him die in his arms. For Weimer, and not being able to do anything as he was torn to shreds by his own brother.

If those precious angels didn't deserve to live, neither would he. He would go out the same way as them.

Fuck himself. Fuck it, fuck it. He didn't deserve organs. He didn't deserve to be gendered. Speaking of which...

He had tried several times in the past to cut it off. Not because he was transgender, he didn't want to become a woman. No, he just wasn't deserving of it. Why did he deserve it? He didn't. That was the long and short of it. Other people could make use of something like this, and he was never going to use it after all the things that his father had done to him. Sex was disgusting to him now, and alway would be. How could people put themselves through that much trouble and pain just to have a child, or just to 'prove' that someone loved them.

And speaking of that, why should someone put themselves through bonding with another person just to find out that that person does not feel the same way. Or cheats on them. Or murders them. Why bother. Blocking everyone out was so much easier.

A final slice to the stomach cut it open wide, revealing his intestines which was threatening to spill out. He had to grip onto the sink to keep standing. Blood was everywhere. Absoluely everywhere. How the hell did it get on the ceiling? How was he still standing? How was he still concious? None of that mattered now, he still had a few things to do. But he paused. And listened.

Silence. He continued, starting to prep himself for the pain that he was going to put himself through.

Then...

Footsteps. Loud, hurried, clunky footsteps.

He heard the footsteps before he could go any further. Thinking it was his father, he hurridly started to try and cut it off again. Ignoring the pain, ignoring the pounding on the door, ignoring everything.

In truth, it wasn't his father outside. It was his one friend, Russia, who had dragged along America and Canada to help him get to Germany. Germany normally answered his phone immediately. But he hadn't answered any of his calls for two hours. This was not like Germany at all. Russia had no idea of Germany's state of mind. He thought that he had maybe gotten himself locked in the bathroom. But after Canada broke the door...

Let's just say that Germany was successful in what he was cutting off. He, unfortunately for Germany, wasn't going to be seeing Weimer and East anytime soon, though.