flicker of hope [ziall]

4~this isn't groundhogs day

After the whole smashing incident, things mostly went back to normal. Zayn never forced me to talk about it which I was very grateful for. I've always loved Zayn for that. Unlike the others, he respects space.

I continued to always be late or unprepared for whatever we had in the mornings, then I'd lay in bed contemplating my life before getting a little drunk for whatever concert we had next. I made sure to never drink as much as I had that one night so the boy's wouldn't get too annoyed. I'm not too sure it's working though since I'll occasionally see the boys roll their eyes at me throughout the concert. I'm not even sure why I'm still in this band when I clearly seem to be annoying everyone lately. I haven't hung out with any of the boys since I went over for blind fold Fifa. They've been pestering me too but I keep coming up with excuses. I don't really get what their game is. Why are they inviting me when they clearly don't actually want me there? I'm just doing us all a favor by declining.

This morning, we had a quick photoshoot though. Photoshoots are honestly the worst. I never knew how to pose. But I think we're just doing some shots with some jerseys. Those photoshoots are the easiest.

"Guess who's on time bitches" I exclaimed with a smirk as I walked out of the elevator to meet the boys in the hotel lobby. Liam and Harry are the only other ones here right now.

"Wow Niall. I think this is the first time you've made it down here before the others" Liam said with a face full of surprise.

"You're actually a few minutes early Niall" Harry smiled and ruffled my hair. The only reason I'm early to be honest is because Liam set my watch ahead 20 minutes and I didn't notice until I was already heading down. But I'm not gonna give Liam the satisfaction of knowing he tricked me down here.

"So we've got time for a quickie then?" I grinned widely

"If you keep coming early, then maybe we can work something out" Liam smiled and patted my shoulder.

"Gonna hold you to that Payno"

"Niall James Horan? Is that you? Am I seeing things?" Louis gasped as he and Zayn walked over to us.

"Yup, came early and everything. We even had a quickie before you guys got here. You can join next time if you come earlier"

"Intriguing offer mate" Zayn grinned. He walked straight up to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked to the van. Zayn actually sits next to me in the back of the van this time. He hasn't sat in the back with me since the morning after my whole guitar smashing incident. But to be fair, I usually sit in the back with my earbuds at max volume. This is probably the first time I haven't in a little while. However, I accidentally broke my earbuds last night by sitting on them. I'll have to buy a new pair soon.

"Wanna hangout after the photoshoot?" Zayn asked as he cozies up next to me.

"Hmmm, I don't know, I was gonna sleep"

"All you do nowadays is sleep. I haven't seen you in ages. At least come to my room and watch a movie or something" Zayn offered. I wanted to protest that I do not in fact sleep all the time. But I guess from anyone else's point of view, I have been using the sleep excuse a lot to get out of hanging out with them. But I mean, the boys will have more fun without me anyways. I always end up fucking something up when I'm with them so its easier for everyone if I just make up an excuse. I'm pretty sure they invite me so I don't feel left out. But I guess I could watch a movie with them this time. Worst comes to worst, I can just pretend to fall asleep or something.

"Fine, but you better suck me off"

"Really?" Zayn grinned as his eyes lit up like a child. I almost feltl a bit bad now. Have I been avoiding hanging out with the boys this much that Zayn is this excited over watching a movie with me? I swear I haven't been pretending to sleep that much. Besides, I see them almost everyday as it is and Harry and Louis often go fuck off by themselves anyways.